Text from an ex

He wished me a happy birthday, said he often thought of me, and hoped I was well. We broke up nearly a year ago. I didn't know what to say in reply, so I deleted it. On another note, anyone have an explanation for why exes text on birthdays? Haha.

22 Comments

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Same Boat

Jul 14, 2019 at 3:16pm

Birthdays (and holidays) are The Ex's "excuse" for contact you, either because they want to test the water or they are lonely. You did the right thing. I hope you had a happy birthday, despite The Ex intrusion.

Ex for a reason

Jul 14, 2019 at 4:20pm

Never look in your rear view mirror. While it’s nice to be thought of, the text sounds like emotional manipulation. Ignore the text and look forward. Remember why you broke up a year ago. Don’t be played on your birthday.

My God, you’re a piece of work

Jul 14, 2019 at 4:44pm

And you just reaffirmed my decision to stay single forever.

Anonymous

Jul 14, 2019 at 4:46pm

It's polite and thoughtful, I think. My ex was not.

Are you really...

Jul 14, 2019 at 5:15pm

... this, like utterly clueless/psychopathic? Obviously he cares about you, and the birthday gives a socially acceptable way to check in. He probably still "likes" you, to be all gradeschool about it, and if you're broken up, fine, but, and maybe this is because I don't text, but if someone sent me a birthday card, I'd either call, or write back saying "Thanks for the birthday card!"

Jesus Christ, how old are you, are you, like totally feral?

Ooerr...

Jul 14, 2019 at 5:31pm

To wish you a happy birthday.
No subtext or hidden agenda required. Mannerly and customary to simply reply, "Thanks."
Or just be like you did, which is normal for Vancouver. Hot and cold running douchebags of all genders, indeed.
Happily, we have incidents of assault and robbery even during the day, at stoplights in the 'burbs. Won't be much longer now.

@are you really

Jul 14, 2019 at 6:08pm

Feral and psychopath? You are the one that needs to calm down. What a strange rant.

Hmmmm...

Jul 14, 2019 at 8:13pm

Opinions about communication with exes vary from person to person. Maybe the two of you just don’t see eye to eye on what is/is not appropriate.

I don’t have the full story about your relationship, so feel free to disregard my hot take. However, the text at least sounded thoughtful and sincere, without the expectation of a reply. As though it was coming from a place of closure and reflection rather than a desire to disrupt.

I'd delete it too

Jul 14, 2019 at 8:14pm

I'm not sure why all the negative comments. When I break up, I break up. I don't want birthday messages, holiday greetings or how ya doing notes. When I'm done, I'm done and moving on.

Life's an obituary

Jul 15, 2019 at 12:03am

No Xs. Only never-weres. I'm down a long road here...happens

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