I wish people cared

I've been in Van for long enough to notice being out at community events; people don't really engage or strike up conversations. In NY people do, and other places I've travelled, there's more connection. Don't get me wrong I chat with people and there are good ones out in the city, but it's still very different. Not sure why I stay, like are there other people out there who moved here years ago and don't really have that many friends? Just kind of acquaintances where you're not let into their circle? It's tough when you're an introvert on top of that, but still a cool person, but no one really seems to care. Friends I have made have moved to other cities and don't come back, it's tough sometimes.

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Work + University

Aug 12, 2019 at 1:48pm

...is where I met friends. Key is to stop feeling put about who calls who or who approaches who first. So many people are hung about making the first move. I'm not. You'd probably look at someone like me and wonder how I do it. The answer is, I make the first move. Just that kind of person. Be the kind of friend you want.

20 9Rating: +11

Hear that

Aug 12, 2019 at 5:12pm

Totally have experienced this for the entire decade of living here. Eventually I just gave up on even making lasting friendships after also having some good pals move away.
Hopefully you fare better and don't give up! Like you said, there's folks out there if you chat them up. If nothing else know you're not alone in feeling alone....:-P

Check out

Aug 12, 2019 at 11:52pm

The I saw yous

@work + university

Aug 13, 2019 at 12:43am

I have no problem making the first move! It’s that so many people don’t reciprocate and it all gets a little one-sided. One decade here and my closest friends are the ones I made in other cities, in younger times.

@work + university

Aug 13, 2019 at 9:56am

I would go one step further, and if friends/community are hard to find, basic adult courses, from learning a language at Langara or VCC cooking classes, are a great way to dip your toe in being social while not committing to school beyond maybe once a week.
Or go into any community centre and find something on their classes list and roll the dice.
I tried badminton a year ago, I sucked, but it was a catalyst to other things.

12 8Rating: +4

John H

Aug 13, 2019 at 9:49pm

Hi i think this is a big city problem all over but i found Vancouver pre bad. Give meetup.com a try.
theres a ton of events of every subject. with any luck could lead to longer friends. its at least fun company usually. its not a dating site its social and business events, everything under the sun. you can even start your own.

Anonymous

Aug 13, 2019 at 10:44pm

No one cares. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can leave to a place with actual human beings.

Friendless in Vancouver

Aug 14, 2019 at 10:00pm

I am not from Vancouver, many people who do reciprocate in ANY conversations with me are almost always from Ontario?! Even if you are just at a bar and try to strike up a convo they look at you like you are from mars....
The other day I said good morning to a coworker as they walked past me LOOKING me in the eyes as they said nothing. WHO DOES THAT!!! LOL It was like a scene out of the shining!

14 7Rating: +7

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