I’m Deeply in Love

I’m in deep with a man who doesn’t treat me nicely. I know it’s stupid so you can all hold your judgmental comments. I’m just trying to get this feeling off my chest. We were together for years but more recently we’ve spend many weeks without contact. It always ends with him flipping out at me or saying something awful which crushes me. I curse his name and we leave on terrible terms. I try to call him out but he only tells me I’m crazy and doing what he’s doing to me, to him. I spend all day trying to figure out how to get him to like me for who I am. He won’t so it’s pointless. I stay home on the weekends and do creative projects and rearrange my furniture to pass the time but every night I go to sleep and wonder why he isn’t lying next to me. He’s perfect in his insanity and I accept him for who he is but he doesn’t do the same for me. It’s his mean spirit that I just can’t tolerate. I have to move on but it is so hard because when things are good I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Nothing lasts forever I guess. It’s much more complicated than what I’ve said here so please keep that in mind before posting horrible comments. Thanks.

19 Comments

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The lure

Aug 18, 2019 at 10:18pm

That's the lure of emotionally unavailable men. Are you a fixer? This is a trap. Get put and away from him. Delete his number. Unfriend/block. He will never accept you for who you are. Some of these men also escalate to physical violence.

22 7Rating: +15

So complicated, so simple

Aug 18, 2019 at 10:55pm

Too bad you aren't deeply in love with you.

Anonymous

Aug 18, 2019 at 11:07pm

Same feels

The reason I'm not beside you?!

Aug 18, 2019 at 11:40pm

Well I think we both know the answer to that missy

The heart wants what it wants

Aug 19, 2019 at 12:35am

Your situation sounds very familiar.
A couple of years ago, I also fell in love with someone who treated me in ways that I hated. Fortunately, they shut me out, and then dumped me via text a month or so later. I say "fortunately" because it was so unambiguously final, not because it didn't hurt.
The breakup was quite devastating, actually. And left much "unexploded ordnance" in my psyche, to this day. But there's no uncertainty to it. Only pain.
Ambiguity would make it unbearable, instead of merely excruciating.
I wish you an end to this particular suffering. Whatever that looks like.

You’re deeply troubled

Aug 19, 2019 at 7:00am

and need a tremendous amount of counselling for your denial and low self esteem. You also need the general public, like this section, to show you how much of an idiot you really are. I suggest the next time you see your partner, get him to start drinking then eventually we’ll here the same old story of him beating you but you telling yourself “it’s okay, sometimes he really makes my heart flutter with love”. Or maybe you’ll realize what a loser you are after all. Sorry couldn’t help calling you out, besides you won’t read or understand it as this outlet isn’t for solutions except to bitch, right baby? Hope you wake up today after this.

Been There

Aug 19, 2019 at 7:54am

Sounds like a personality disorder. Look them up...narcisst or perhaps borderline personality disorders. He's probably cheating on you. Either way toxic...run.

Lose the guy

Aug 19, 2019 at 8:24am

and find some self-esteem instead. This is just pathetic. If you're able to articulate this mess, you're able to get free of it. Try harder.

Blessing

Aug 19, 2019 at 9:00am

Let him do what he is doing. He is making room for a real man to come into your life. When you realize what an asshole he really is and a real man comes along, you will wonder what took you so long to leave.

You said it.

Aug 19, 2019 at 9:02am

"I spend all day trying to figure out how to get him to like me for who I am." But is that really who you want to be? I wish you only good luck, and hope you'll realize sooner than later this is nothing close to love.

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