The overwhelming amount of choice, the search for perfection, everyone seeking someone really attractive so none of us settle for anyone average looking who would adore us unconditionally, ghosting, bad communication, not caring about how you make other people feel by not responding to their messages, being “too good” for someone (perceiving oneself to be out of someone’s league or better than others), being flakey, bailing on dates, being dumped by “poly” people who decide to see be exclusive so they hurt their casual partners in the process (happened to me with three partners in a 6 month period), emotional exhaustion... the list of things we do on purpose or unwittingly just goes on and on... Sometimes I do some of these things, sometimes they are done to me. I get hurt a lot, I feel inadequate and a failure sometimes because I’m not good enough for some people I date or see profiles of. We’re not intentionally trying to be callous, indifferent, or hurtful but we all do it. Even the nicest people IRL, those who claim to be compassionate, emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, and sensitive (there are many of you in Vancouver) are capable of doing many of these things I list.