Young Spinster

I am a 25-year-old woman who has been single my whole life so far. All the guys I've liked didn't like me back or liked somebody else. I don't know if it's because I seem intimidating to them since I'm very smart yet beautiful (lol, yes it's true and I am confident about that). There is this one guy who I really like but I am too shy to do anything about it even though I really want to. There is nothing going on in my life except work, I don't really have any friends, and it would be nice to have someone awesome to go out with. How do I start a conversation with him without seeming weird/random? I really have no idea. Let me know so that I don't say something stupid even though I'm a smart person. I'm like a girl version of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. XD


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Aug 15, 2019 at 2:14pm

...instances of "I", "me", or "my", by a quick count.
Marker for egotism. Combined with the self-congratulations and vanity. Sucks the oxygen out of the room.
Vancouver is a pretty lonely place, but it makes no difference here. There's no space in your world for anyone else. Not for friends or partners.
You ask advice on approaching someone, but all this is only about you (and how amazing you are).
Not about the other person. Even if someone were to help you, how would they go about it? They know nothing about your target (do you?), and that background is REALLY helpful for making an approach.
Nerds would probably not appreciate a "jock" or "social butterfly" approach, though the male hetero ones may play along because, uhh, girl, wow... And vice versa.
Lastly, Sheldon doesn't strike me as a great role model.
Maybe try for Angelina Jolie from "Hackers", or Arya Stark (side note: not a fanboi, neither is my type). Both of those characters had great loyalty and a willingness to sacrifice. And also many flaws, which made them human and attainable.
Disclosure: I'm a pre-iPhone-era tech geek.


Aug 15, 2019 at 3:02pm

"Hi, I'm *Your Name Here*. Nice to meet you."

Boom, done.

There are no throw-away-children

Aug 15, 2019 at 3:27pm

in the Cosmic scheme of things we all have a need for family .............. call in to the Universe Source & Centre with respect and humility and you'll be pleasantly surprised soon enough.

Everything you say in your post

Aug 15, 2019 at 3:42pm

Is a turnoff.
You talk about how smart and beautiful u are???
But you don’t have the courage to ask a guy out for coffee?
Good luck with all that!


Aug 15, 2019 at 3:46pm

You sound a little awkward, and at the same time, conceited. Like you're full of confidence, yet you can't just go talk to someone? The way you're wording things also sounds like you're still in highschool: "the guys I've liked didn't like me back", "I don't know if I seem intimidating to them since I'm very smart yet beautiful".
I don't know, but something's going wrong. You're either socially stunted, or just not as appealing as you think you are.


Aug 15, 2019 at 4:09pm

Despite being a very smart person myself, I am not quite sure how to answer this. I have been searching through my extensive library and nothing from Sartre to Leibniz has been able to shed any light on the mysterious world of dating. It's frustrating, and as a fellow very smart person I can relate to your frustration. M'lady, methinks that thou needest to join a club. Perhaps a Star Trek LARP group or one of the classier modelling hobbies, like Gundam or Marvel Superheroes Figurines. That's where I usually find the very smart people hanging out.


Aug 15, 2019 at 4:25pm

Don't worry about seeming weird/random. Any half decent human being will not judge you for being nervous or mixing up your words. I stutter and a lot of the time I know what I just said was incomprehensible, but I have always had great interactions with people. If he judges you or puts you down: move on, he's not worth it.

"I'm looking for a new hiking/yoga/gaming/binge-drinking buddy (delete as appropriate)... you in?"

Don't worry so much

Aug 15, 2019 at 5:10pm

For being smart, you care way too much about men and what they think. The less you care, the more appealing you will be.

Lumpy Space Princess

Aug 15, 2019 at 7:24pm

oh, hey girl!

I don't know but...

Aug 15, 2019 at 7:48pm

I don't know your situation, but I didn't have my first long term relationship until my early 30s. There are a million things to talk about, the more you know yourself, live life and have more experiences; the easier it can be to flow with others. Also counselling at some point is good for everyone. Do something you're interested in outside of work, one thing and who knows who you might meet, what you might find or learn about yourself :)

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