I have no kids. I'don't have a "real" careers I've worked hard at. I make an ok living, but not good one. I live well, I have a partner that is a dream, and for the most part I wake up every day happy to just be alive and awake next to my dream partner. I've done some fantastic things over the years. Many I speak to are unhappy with money, family, job, grind. I would really, really like to know who over 35 is happy, and if you are unhappy, what I the cause ie: work, spouse, kids, that makes you unhappy.


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Recently retired at 58

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:05am

No kids, no wife and i'm the happiest I've ever been.
Good friends, good health and total freedom baby!!!

contradicting your own words

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:24am

You talk about a "dream" partner and go on about not needing a spouse.
Heck, you talk about your "dream" partner more than once in this confession. Clearly you need this "dream" person to fulfill your own life.
Dreams aren't real. They're fantasies and fictious

a happy woman

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:28am

I'm 41, and pretty damn happy. A bit about me: I am single, childless (by choice), and have a job that I love but that can be SUPER stressful. I have enough money that I"m comfortable but not a lot by any means. I find my life interesting and stimulating, and anytime it's not I try to do things that make it more interesting. I have a lot of friends and a lot of things I like to do.

There are things "missing" (i would like to find a companion one day..I miss being in a relationship-but I also have amazing friends and I have people that are my lovers but not boyfriends and for now that is ok...and also i'm not convinced i want a traditional relationship anyway)...and certainly not all is rosy: My job can be too stressful (and I work WAY more than I get paid for), my family has drama, I have a lot of weird random illnesses, I overthink way too much and can be my own worst enemy, and I can get really confused because of this.

my point is of course there are all sorts of things that are not "ideal" about my life.

BUT-I am genuinely really happy most of the time. I am not totally sure why. I think some of it must be genetic. But I also think that a lot of it is that I feel have control over my attitude towards things (although I guess that can be genetically out of your control as well). I'm very grateful for a lot of things in my life. I'm living a life I"m proud of. I live according to my truths and my values. I really like my life.

anyway, it's hard to answer, but that's an attempt. :)

(i also think a lot about this. in fact, i teach a whole course based around the idea of how to build your most meaningful and authentic life and the things that get in the way of that)


Sep 10, 2019 at 11:20am

It would be the lack of some of those things that make me ponder Albert Camus ultimate question.

Money makes a huge difference

Sep 10, 2019 at 12:02pm

It does buy happiness, especially if you haven't partnered up in a serious relationship by the time you're in your first third of your life.
I'm trying to be happy (read between the lines on that one). I appreciate a lot, given the circumstances. I'm learning to appreciate the not-so-great things as they help me know what does matter.
Being proactive helps me feel better. Appreciating what I have done and been (the positives, for sure) help. Knwoing I still have friends from more than a few decades still around makes me feel good.
Knowing my worth and ensuring the bad apples don't get a piece of me helps.

What makes me happy

Sep 10, 2019 at 1:33pm

is my kids. The depth of affection I feel for them is like no other experience. We bumbled through the teenage yrs and now they are adults but I still feel the same way.


Sep 10, 2019 at 2:00pm

Nowhere in the post does the OP talk about “not needing a spouse” you illiterate fuck.


Sep 11, 2019 at 7:14am

Great feedback everyone! Especially @a happy woman. @contradicting your own words, I'm truly sorry for your misery. You seem like a sad person. let me rephrase my original post and replace "dream" with perfect. @Money makes a huge difference, you seem like you have a great head on your shoulders. I hope everyone has a great day and if you're not happy, remember we only get one kick at the can, I have to remind myself of this this daily!


Sep 11, 2019 at 10:18am

My rescues fur babies!!!
I wake up each morning happy, being surrounded by my fur babies, good health and partner.

This is a great question

Sep 11, 2019 at 11:34am

I have found, in my 41 years, that it has become easier to be unhappy as you get older. I think a lot of it has to do with expectations and regrets and feeling like you're too old to make changes or don't have time to make the 'wrong' decision. I don't know. Do I wish we'd bought a property in Vancouver 10 years ago when we could kiiiind of afford it? Yes. Do we feel resentful paying crazy rent and not getting ahead financially? Yes. But am I happy? Yes. I can't help it.

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