Happiness

I have no kids. I'don't have a "real" careers I've worked hard at. I make an ok living, but not good one. I live well, I have a partner that is a dream, and for the most part I wake up every day happy to just be alive and awake next to my dream partner. I've done some fantastic things over the years. Many I speak to are unhappy with money, family, job, grind. I would really, really like to know who over 35 is happy, and if you are unhappy, what I the cause ie: work, spouse, kids, that makes you unhappy.

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Recently retired at 58

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:05am

No kids, no wife and i'm the happiest I've ever been.
Good friends, good health and total freedom baby!!!

contradicting your own words

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:24am

You talk about a "dream" partner and go on about not needing a spouse.
Heck, you talk about your "dream" partner more than once in this confession. Clearly you need this "dream" person to fulfill your own life.
Dreams aren't real. They're fantasies and fictious

a happy woman

Sep 10, 2019 at 10:28am

I'm 41, and pretty damn happy. A bit about me: I am single, childless (by choice), and have a job that I love but that can be SUPER stressful. I have enough money that I"m comfortable but not a lot by any means. I find my life interesting and stimulating, and anytime it's not I try to do things that make it more interesting. I have a lot of friends and a lot of things I like to do.

There are things "missing" (i would like to find a companion one day..I miss being in a relationship-but I also have amazing friends and I have people that are my lovers but not boyfriends and for now that is ok...and also i'm not convinced i want a traditional relationship anyway)...and certainly not all is rosy: My job can be too stressful (and I work WAY more than I get paid for), my family has drama, I have a lot of weird random illnesses, I overthink way too much and can be my own worst enemy, and I can get really confused because of this.

my point is of course there are all sorts of things that are not "ideal" about my life.

BUT-I am genuinely really happy most of the time. I am not totally sure why. I think some of it must be genetic. But I also think that a lot of it is that I feel have control over my attitude towards things (although I guess that can be genetically out of your control as well). I'm very grateful for a lot of things in my life. I'm living a life I"m proud of. I live according to my truths and my values. I really like my life.

anyway, it's hard to answer, but that's an attempt. :)

(i also think a lot about this. in fact, i teach a whole course based around the idea of how to build your most meaningful and authentic life and the things that get in the way of that)

?

Sep 10, 2019 at 11:20am

It would be the lack of some of those things that make me ponder Albert Camus ultimate question.

Money makes a huge difference

Sep 10, 2019 at 12:02pm

It does buy happiness, especially if you haven't partnered up in a serious relationship by the time you're in your first third of your life.
I'm trying to be happy (read between the lines on that one). I appreciate a lot, given the circumstances. I'm learning to appreciate the not-so-great things as they help me know what does matter.
Being proactive helps me feel better. Appreciating what I have done and been (the positives, for sure) help. Knwoing I still have friends from more than a few decades still around makes me feel good.
Knowing my worth and ensuring the bad apples don't get a piece of me helps.

What makes me happy

Sep 10, 2019 at 1:33pm

is my kids. The depth of affection I feel for them is like no other experience. We bumbled through the teenage yrs and now they are adults but I still feel the same way.

@contradicting

Sep 10, 2019 at 2:00pm

Nowhere in the post does the OP talk about “not needing a spouse” you illiterate fuck.

41 8Rating: +33

OP

Sep 11, 2019 at 7:14am

Great feedback everyone! Especially @a happy woman. @contradicting your own words, I'm truly sorry for your misery. You seem like a sad person. let me rephrase my original post and replace "dream" with perfect. @Money makes a huge difference, you seem like you have a great head on your shoulders. I hope everyone has a great day and if you're not happy, remember we only get one kick at the can, I have to remind myself of this this daily!

12 9Rating: +3

Anonymous

Sep 11, 2019 at 10:18am

My rescues fur babies!!!
I wake up each morning happy, being surrounded by my fur babies, good health and partner.

10 9Rating: +1

This is a great question

Sep 11, 2019 at 11:34am

I have found, in my 41 years, that it has become easier to be unhappy as you get older. I think a lot of it has to do with expectations and regrets and feeling like you're too old to make changes or don't have time to make the 'wrong' decision. I don't know. Do I wish we'd bought a property in Vancouver 10 years ago when we could kiiiind of afford it? Yes. Do we feel resentful paying crazy rent and not getting ahead financially? Yes. But am I happy? Yes. I can't help it.

9 12Rating: -3

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