Now what

Was going to break up with my bf but now he tells me he has a serious health problem so I’m thinking he’ll believe this is why it’s not working out.He finally opens up two days before I planned to break it off.Cant help to feel he knew what was coming and is using his disability to make up for all his bad behaviour.So do I give him support and more energy or tell him I have to break up and send him deeper down the hole.How can anyone tell if this is all just to keep me where he wants me to be.


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Sep 12, 2019 at 11:34am

It is never a good time to break up with someone.

Get out

Sep 12, 2019 at 11:46am

So he has a health problem, he can deal with it. If you’re not comfortable in the relationship get out now

No winning

Sep 12, 2019 at 12:58pm

Even if he wasn't sick, he'd still make it out like you were the jerk in the relationship.

Your first mistake

Sep 12, 2019 at 1:05pm

Was planning to break up with him.

If You want to break up with someone, you dont plan it out like a wedding or a birthday. You go to their house, or you come home if you live with them, or you meet them somewhere, and you break up with them.

If for some reason you can't meet them face to face, then call, or facetime, or something. This might be an unpopular opinion. But it's better than letting it drag on, and then having something like this happen.

Now you have to be the villain and dump someone after they've told you they have these issues.

And yes, you have to. If, maybe you actually believed that it was his mental problems that caused the riff, that eventually led to you wanting to end things, and if you believed that the person you fell for was in their somewhere, and you could take steps in the right direction to fix your relationship and help him over come his issues, you wouldn't still be considering breaking up with him, but you are. Which means you truly are done with him.

Veto power

Sep 12, 2019 at 1:36pm

It only takes one of you, to decide that the two of you are a bad fit.
Obviously true. All other things irrelevant. And because that's the showstopper, it's game over.
Hanging around just makes it awkward and painful.
Tha last time someone told me that, I went away and didn't come back.
And the time before that, when I came to that conclusion in a relationship, I left.
Awful but necessary.

A bit of advice

Sep 12, 2019 at 1:38pm

Leaving won't make you a bad person, any more than staying will make you a good person. Leaving is the right thing to do.

Same boat

Sep 12, 2019 at 1:40pm

I figure if you even wonder that he would manipulate you like this, that you think he is THIS kind of person, you should not be with them.

repetitious advice

Sep 12, 2019 at 2:30pm

Break up with him, if you believe you came to a fair assessment of your situation and that the relationship is too hurtful/wasteful of your life.

A decent person wants to help those in need, but that help has to be reasonable. He can ask for your sympathy but he can't ask for your life. That is an unreasonable ask.

Stick with plan A


Sep 12, 2019 at 2:45pm

no good reason to stay.

As someone who has made this mistake...

Sep 12, 2019 at 2:46pm

Get out. There's no point staying to help him if it will be you bitter and resentful, and it definitely will.

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