Owning a dog + vehicle = relationship value?

I live in Downtown Vancouver, close to work and I've been cycling to work this year. It makes no sense financially or environmentally for me to own a vehicle. In fact I think it would be a bit selfish of me to own a vehicle simply to "get out of the city" on weekends. I see a lot of dating profiles where people want to "go on adventures", "go hiking", "get out of the city" etc., for the most part this requires a vehicle, and therefore insurance, paying for gas, paying for parking, dealing with road rage and so on. If someone owning a vehicle and a dog qualifies them to be more valuable for a relationship that is ridiculous to me. Character, intelligence, soul, charm, compassion... these are so much more valuable traits to me than owning things. I see a lot of douchey looking guys with trendy dog breeds that live in Yaletown/Downtown and it seems obvious they're doing it to appeal to women. I love nature and dogs, I go on hikes when I'm travelling or happen to be near the wilderness, but I live in downtown Vancouver, and that's just not realistic to me right now. If I can take a bus to a hiking spot, I'll do it, but if anyone out there requires me to own a vehicle to be relationship material, sorry, that's just not happening.


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Oct 13, 2019 at 10:43am

It seems a leap to assume that a comment like "love to get out of the city" or "like hiking" means that vehicle ownership is required. E.G. Lighthouse park is accessible by bus. But maybe you've been turned down for this reason. No worries then, not the right person.

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Oct 13, 2019 at 10:52am

... want resources. I take it you're a man looking for a woman. Take a guy. Same guy, with a dog and a car. The same guy with a dog and a car has more resources, so he's a better sort of guy to be with. Even if the woman isn't consciously seeking resources, this is how the biology is hardwired.

Anyway, rather than approaching this as a moral issue, if you want a woman, rather than looking for that one special woman who isn't like the rest of them, just acknowledge that most of them are fairly similar, they're all going to be happier if you have a dog and a car than if you have no dog and no car and this lovely sort of explanation.

Imagine the first date, two scenarios:


"Do you ever get up to Pemberton? Great hiking up there!"
"Oh, no, that's so costly and expensive and, I mean, hey, I have intelligence, soul and compassion anyway, who needs Pemberton??"


"So, you ever go to whistler? I her they have a new skyride!"
"Yeah, let's put the doggo in the car and head up there this weekend!"

In practice, I don't think you even need to own a car anymore, you just need to rent a carshare. Your attitude says either you don't have enough money to do that, or you're one of those people who just likes to make excuses for not doing anything, as though it "makes sense" to not do anything and that people who're driving cars with their dogs and girlfriends just don't "get" what you get.

If you want a woman, you need to act like you already have a pack, and a dog and a car do that, we don't exactly live in extended families anymore.

Memo , you didn't get it.

Oct 13, 2019 at 11:25am

Complaining or even using online dating is like going to mcdonalds and ordering a New York steak. You're going to be disappointed.

I refuse to spend a dime on dating here nor do I own a car. That money goes to trips around the world every summer. The look on women's faces when they hear that the audio technician has hiked the Alps, Trails by the Adriatic, Lakes by Milan is worth every penny spent.

why sit in Vancouver pining for what isn't and go embrace what is.

Sleep local live abroad.

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Oct 13, 2019 at 12:11pm

That would qualify as"what you can do for me". Too many people approach dating to see what they can get out of others instead of approaching it with the objective of sharing *with each other*.

Please know that there are women out there who don't care about these things.

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Oct 13, 2019 at 12:36pm

"Amateurs plan strategy. Professionals plan logistics." - apocryphal
Relationships are about compromise. Sometimes concession, even. Which isn't your thing.
Makes sense. Carry on. But don't expect others to accommodate you, either.
I have dogs, and a car, and would never live downtown here. There are places where "downtown" is livable, and even drivable. Which Vancouver is not, mostly. So I rarely hang with urbanites.

Considering the population density in the core, highly doubt that your lack of dates is because car. Though people are VERY fixated on "tall", personality most likely the issue. Notable that every sentence in the post has "I" or "me" in it, and lots of that.
“We have met the enemy and he is us.” - Walt Kelly, "Pogo"

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Judge not lest ye be judged

Oct 13, 2019 at 1:45pm

"I see a lot of douchey looking guys..."

You are judging people based on looks. You don't know what someone else is thinking or feeling, or what his/her character, intelligence, soul, charm, and compassion are.

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Snap out of it.

Oct 13, 2019 at 2:07pm

I never understood why people needed to 'get out of the city', it's not like Vancouver is some enormous overwhelming megalopolis, it's just Vancouver. It's a large town that's actually very green. If you're overwhelmed in Vancouver, you're pretty useless.

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maybe …

Oct 13, 2019 at 3:12pm

… these people who like to get out of town actually have their own cars and they aren’t expecting you to have one! Maybe those douchey looking guys have dogs because they like dogs? And despite your judgement of their appearance, they are nice people? Maybe you should stay away from the dating world for a while and take some time to look into why you hate guys with dogs and people who like to go on adventures. Maybe with all that money you are saving by not having a car you can get some good therapy!

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Oct 13, 2019 at 3:53pm

Renting a car a few times a year to get out and about , is a cheaper option than owning .


Oct 13, 2019 at 3:56pm

People who don’t have vehicles just expect those who do to taxi them around, or come to them 100% of the time because it’s more convenient for you. How many times have you gone on a date and suggested you meet downtown so you don’t have to go out of your way or pay the extra cash it takes to have a car and reciprocate? Your choice in being cheap doesn’t make you a planet warrior, it makes you a mooch. No one wants to drive you around!

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