Our connection was divine. Hypnotic, even. The intimacy was transcendent. Best sex of my life, too. The avoidant attachment issues, the drinking, the oblique hints about severe benzo dependency, the suspicion, the rejection - not so much. That part was agony, mostly. Given a couple of years to reflect, I find myself in agreement. Not meant to be. But still... My life has very few regrets, and not just because I should have been dead long ago. But this regret, for the way it was with us, will linger. "If only" should be a four-letter word.