In retrospect

Our connection was divine. Hypnotic, even. The intimacy was transcendent. Best sex of my life, too. The avoidant attachment issues, the drinking, the oblique hints about severe benzo dependency, the suspicion, the rejection - not so much. That part was agony, mostly. Given a couple of years to reflect, I find myself in agreement. Not meant to be. But still... My life has very few regrets, and not just because I should have been dead long ago. But this regret, for the way it was with us, will linger. "If only" should be a four-letter word.

4 Comments

Post a Comment

Anonymous

Oct 21, 2019 at 4:58pm

Crap Kerouac is back from the grave.

OP

Oct 23, 2019 at 12:49am

Sadly, hipster troll wannabes are now a thing. Downgrade from actual hipster trolls, methinks.
No, Jack's still dead, which is a blessing. Better that, than a literally (heh) raging alcoholic that ages ungracefully into a shambling wreck.
And his stuff is nothing like mine, in theme or style.
Also, one should try to avoid poetry in English. The language is too dry for it; the absence of nuanced, complex diminutives being just one downside.
Besides, I rather like punctuation. Surely you've noticed?

@OP

Oct 23, 2019 at 7:26am

it sounds like you are trying to intimidate someone who rejected you by bringing up things that would hurt her seeing and reading. You are a stalker. SVP Repent and change your ways to that of Loving-Kindness Essence while you have time. if you don't change your vile ways, your place will be and shall be hellish realities. you have choice, God Bless you and i Pray you Become Kind and Caring

OP

Oct 23, 2019 at 9:22pm

Sooo, Rando-caPitalizAtion maN...
I say "man" because women are usually better at this sort of thing. Also, punctuation, clarity, and communication more generally. And you made it gender-specific about a woman, very much a typical hetero-male assumption. See how the original post was gender-neutral? Yeah. You're projecting.
A regret does not a stalker make. I haven't seen or spoken to the person for years. I even moved out of town, and don't do social media. You must be thinking of yourself. Creeping Facebook or IG seems EXACTLY your speed.

Despite the silly randomness of topics, this IS still a confessions forum, so the correct place to confess regret. And the person didn't strike me as a reader. More about appearances, sensations and experiences. So, not *absolutely* impossible that they'd wind up, here. But wildly unlikely - it would be utterly out of character. Nor would anything like this intimidate them. Annoy, maybe - they're far smarter than you, for example.
Lastly, throwing religiosity at me is a guaranteed fail. Pray for yourself. Divine intervention is your only hope. Though it does make sense - those of limited intellect and closed mind, typically seek out orthodox, conservative faith to validate themselves. So research says, and it's certainly been my experience.

Far from the "wisdom of crowds", the internet turned out to be a disappointment. In line with the Pareto Principle, over eighty percent of it is the absolutely lowest common denominator. Appalling rubbish.
No wonder premium paid content is becoming a thing again. I should get to it.
Posting pays no bills.

15 5Rating: +10

Join the Discussion

What's your name?