Chasing likes

I take a lot of photos ( landscapes etc ) and post them on Facebook. I confess I feel validated when there’s many likes and disappointed when there’s few likes. It’s so dumb

9 Comments

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Well....

Nov 15, 2019 at 10:56am

That's part of the addictive aspect of social media, and it's built into all of that. You're a normal person, is all.

I confess: when I was having a hard time in my life, I set up an Instagram account and posted my landscape photos there. I felt very validated when strangers started following me and liking my photos because they liked my photos, and not because they were FB friends. That said, it was also incredibly addictive, checking my phone each time I got another like. Sigh.

12 5Rating: +7

It’s telling

Nov 15, 2019 at 11:40am

I used to be on Facebook but I left it for a myriad of reasons.

When I posted pics of a version of myself (feminine lacy clothes, lots of makeup, hair styled and curled), I got the most likes.

But when I posted another version of myself, the athlete with no makeup, making personal records in my sport, in my Happy element outside, I got few likes.

So I learned that people “like” the stereotypical version of me, and not the true athletic version of me. I’m actually happier in my sport pics, than in the girly version of myself.

I don’t value likes because of this. People aren’t liking what Truly Makes Me Happy. Accruing likes doesn’t make me happy.

Which is why I don’t FB anymore. It’s reductive, predictable and filled with content that is not interesting.

15 5Rating: +10

But is it really the worst thing...

Nov 15, 2019 at 12:05pm

...if you are expressing conscious awareness of the fact that social media is engineered to make or break one's happiness?

Nothing wrong with feeling validated by receiving likes on your mad photography skills, and for using FB/IG as a lens for observing which photos resonate the deepest with your audience. Also, if you are getting more serious about deepening your photography practice, social media is an essential promotional/business tool that is difficult to bypass. Don't be so hard on yourself.

That said, as you imply, it's wise to recognize social media for what it is, good and bad, so that you can avoid using it as your sole barometer for self-esteem.

10 7Rating: +3

Facebook is

Nov 15, 2019 at 1:50pm

Stupid.
Its all made up garabage.
Last Straw
This so called " friend" posts
Oh look at me I found the pockets in my dress. What a miracle!!
Oh now look, I'm wearing the dress with the newly found pockets, even though I have had this dumb ass dress for years..
What a joke.
Thats when I knew it was time to bail.
"Friends"... I dont think so.
People just want to show off to be noticed.
Its kinda Sad.

8 7Rating: +1

You're right

Nov 15, 2019 at 3:27pm

It's dumb.

12 4Rating: +8

Meh

Nov 15, 2019 at 5:49pm

@telling
It was ever thus.
Neither FB nor any SM is particularly malevolent.
Social media is primarily for marketing. Selling yourself to others, and selling product to you.
But technology *has* exposed and made very obvious, something that's been true all along: PEOPLE are mostly "reductive, predictable and filled with content that is not interesting." Just exactly as you said.
And the less self-actualized and insecure the human, the more validation they crave. FB, IG, and even this place are perfect for feeding that hunger. The ego's appetite can never be satisfied, and indulging it is highly addictive. Which is great - there's gobs of money to be made, pandering to this behavior. No different than booze, smoking, drugs, or any other habit.
The humans are mostly same as they always were. But mental illness has never been more accessible, widespread, or profitable.

11 3Rating: +8

The important thing

Nov 15, 2019 at 10:47pm

The important thing is to like yourself.

1 5Rating: -4

@ meh

Nov 16, 2019 at 6:35am

I think the whole human race is ridden with mental illness, ie: emotions, feelings, hard life experiences.
Some people just hide it better than others.
Its embedded in our DNA.
We are all weird in some way, it makes us interesting :)

6 3Rating: +3

Meh

Nov 17, 2019 at 7:08am

@@meh
I distinguish between high-functioning crazy (I am this) and low-functioning or malfunctioning crazy (those who have trouble keeping their sh*t together, especially in public).
There's no question that humans are mad. Just look at the definitive chart of perceptual biases... hundreds of them.
But someone mindful enough to compensate for the bugs in the wetware, is an interesting person. Another who is flaky, obsessively selfish, severely inhibited, erratic and/or abusive, not so much.

4 1Rating: +3

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