1) I would still go if you can handle the financials of the trip without regret. You said you were looking forward to it so why not still go for your milestone birthday? What is better: being at home or away on a trip for your milestone birthday?
2) Go with an open mind and not carrying baggage of negativity. If you go with the feelings of disappointment with your friends that canceled, you are ruining the trip that hasn’t even began.
3) if your tour group has other singles attending, you won’t be alone and will have some built-in company.
4) Early Happy Birthday to you! You may be surprised at how much adventure you can experience when you’re traveling solo!

I have a similar story and took myself to Hawaii the year I turned 40. I felt totally safe as a single woman traveling alone and it was just the change of environment and perspective I needed. Do your research and don't let the lack of travel companion hold you back. I hope you get the break you need and deserve. Best of luck and happy birthday <3

I don't know what you should do. But I think it can be good for people to drastically change their environment, even if it is only for a few days. It sort of shocks you out of your habit patterns, makes you see new potential pathways or ways of doing things. Or sometimes you hate it but come back feeling refreshed, glad to be back to the comforts of your home.

You talk as if spending money is going to solve your problems. It won't.

If you are ever to find inner peace you are going to have to learn to develop it inside yourself.

Also, forget about "friends". Friends are cool but you cannot expect people to care too much either. This is reality.

You mention health issues, so I’m not sure if you’re actually able to go on your own, but if you are - go! I’ve traveled solo almost exclusively, and it truly does wonders for your confidence.

If you are not able to go, I’d just say make a list of things that make you feel good that you can afford. Songs you love, your favorite spot in town, your favorite outfit, favorite movie, favorite food etc. and go enjoy it all. It feels really crap when people you are counting on let you down, but it is something most of us have to deal with at some point or another.

I hope your health gets better and you have a great birthday!

Have you thought about a yurt and spa in Whistler? The scandinave spa has a no talking rule. People go there solo all the time. I'm not sure if your health allows steam/hot pools, but it's great. There's also yurts nearby that are heated. You could go up for a night, go to the spa the next morning and get relaxed. Just a thought!

And I haven't traveled anywhere in 20 years. I have constant anxiety about mortality and purpose. I feel like I've been dead for years. There now don't you feel better already?

I had a similar situation when I was turning 40. Although before asking friends I had a feeling they would bail. So I only asked my 2 best friends. and ... nope. they promised and then bailed. I know why too, because it wasn't about them. But it's ok, I guess I get it, but what I learned is I had a better time without them anyways! Do what you can to get away for your birthday, and remember we all get older.

Some good suggestions here.
One thing to consider is that Dec is crazy for a lot of people with work and family. Once Jan 2 onward hits its a lot easier. So maybe try schedule till then even if post - birthday.
also you can get some great prices in Jan or Feb i find usually.

1. Hostels / BnB's - another thing ive done travelling solo to meet people is: stay at hostels or bed n breakfasts where you can interact with other travellers especially singles in the common areas. . (even now that im older i stay at hostels but take the private room if they have any).
then i make lots of friends usually in the common areas as people cook meals and hang out. people from all over the world. there is often group outings. this is fun and yet you still maintain your privacy.

2. Meetup.com is great for events to attend in many cities even your local one. there social outings (or business etc) for every topic you can think of. Often free and ive had some fun times and met people. for example i spent Christmas and New Years in LA house-sitting at my friends and there was events for both Christmas eve and New Years, which were pre good. when you go right away people are like oh are you here for the meet up group and usually pre welcoming. (that said sometimes im the one doing that and welcoming others who you see looking around lost....they love that too and bam new people to hang with).

Best J

Thank you to those that gave helpful support and advice and early bday wishes. Looking into some ideas for short close getaway.