I met my first love at 18 and a year later we got engaged. He was my first kiss and first sex. Then after we got engaged I found out I had HPV from him then went through a painful operation called LEEP. Basically doctor burned pre cancerous cells with electric machine and it was so painful. My fiance didnt pay for any medical expensis and didnt wanna admit that it was all his fault. Our colleges were in a city that was 3 hours by train from each other and I went to see him every week cause of my roommate. And he wouldnt try to visit me once. I loved him so much and even I knew that he saw his ex girlfriend and maybe had sex when I was abroad I still believed he could change. Then the next year he really started to love me and we moved in together in my college city. We were so in love but I would always complain to him how he treated me badly last year and we had fight several times a week sometimes. But still I was very much in love with him and so does he I think. Then we got separated again during summer and I worked near Harvard and met this guy who works at Harvard and is succesful. I didnt think much of the Harvard guy at first and wanted to visit my fiance in Chicago and even bought a ticket to see him. Then he was like you cant come here and was very angry that I was visiting him. Later I found out he was partying all week using drugs and getting high.One day I just though fuck this guy and started living with this Harvard dude and we are getting married after dating for 4 months. He doesnt know about this ex fiance at all. But I still am in love with my ex fiance and I just used the Harvard guy to get over him. I met my ex fiance once to return his ring and we both cried so much. It was so painful. But the Harvard guy loves me so much and I dont wanna hurt him. He even paid all my medical bills and school bills. But I cant get back together with ex so I am just marrying the guy who loves me