This is why my friend can't find a man...

I have a friend. She is very pretty, but she can’t understand why despite her looks, she is unable to find a guy that treats her right. The answer to her riddle is painfully obvious to me, but impossible to figure out for her. It all lies in her inability to DEMONSTRATE her own self-worth to those around her. Notice how I use the word DEMONSTRATE instead of verbally communicate. The reason for this, is that ultimately, saying to people that they must treat you right, means nothing if your own behavior towards them suggests there is absolutely no need for them to do so. For example, she engages in sex with these men surprisingly soon after she meets them, and then pulls her hair out because she can’t figure out why they soon lose interest, and why they make no effort. She has some deluded perception that showing more of her body when she dresses somehow makes her sexier, when in reality, this behavior screams insecurities and low self-esteem. She constantly, and openly takes pictures of herself in reveling underwear and sexual positions, and then puts them up on social media for the world to see. I just wish that I could make her understand that there is NOTHING sexier than a clever mind, but I just don’t think she perceives herself as being able to offer to a potential partner more than just her body parts. Of course, looks are important, and I agree 100% with the fact that she should doll herself up and dress nicely, but there NEEDS to be more about her than just her boobs for her to find the type of man she expects. We are both around the same age (late 20’s), and I’m a guy, so I don’t think I’m the best person to tell her all of this. She is not particularly receptive to feedback, and this is definitely a touchy subject. I also don’t think it is even my place to do so, considering she has never invited my opinion on the matter. I care about her, but I guess for now I will continue to just watch her from the sidelines, and hope she wakes up one day and puts some actual clothes on!


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sir expat

Dec 11, 2019 at 7:51pm

ah, fellow knight, I see through your chivalry. But to be fair I think it's wasted effort, for thy maiden is but a simple tavern wench, maybe good for a little bosom fondling but nothing else. For honor and glory!

Sounds like...

Dec 11, 2019 at 9:21pm

.. you are her emotional tampon! Does it pay well? She is just fine with what she is doing, and part of it is because dudes like you enable her. Why are you friends with her, what do you get out of it? She sounds like a real narcissist, and, come on, man to man, you want to bone her, right?

What she's doing is what used to work, even with attractive men---you bed them and trap them with your vagina. It has teeth, you know! But now, like, any top-tier man can have sex with 3+ women a week if he likes.

The reason she's posting all of these nudie pics is because that's how you get these hot guys, and they're not into settling down, settling down is something ugly males do because they have no choice. Why buy the cow when the sex is free?

9 33Rating: -24


Dec 11, 2019 at 10:16pm

Maybe her boobs aren't big enough.

I say Sexy

Dec 11, 2019 at 11:50pm

Is a state of mind and being confident in yourself, its not about showing or not showing skin.
It is however not caring what other people think and dancing to the beat of your own drum.
But, Looking for love in all the wrong places, if you get my drift, Will make you feel less than and you will not find what you are truly looking for.
Everyone wants to feel they are loved, to be in love
Its who we are as humans.
But giving away your heart for meaningless sex will never lead you to the love you so deserve.
My granny had an old saying.. Kinda rude/ sexist, and Woman are not cows, but gets the point across. Now keep in mind,
it was my 80 year old granny's saying lol. Anyway
Why would "they" buy the cow ?
if "they" are getting the milk for free.
Love Ya Gran.
Hope that helps.
I ramble.. Horrible grammer too.


Dec 12, 2019 at 2:10pm

As soon as you mentioned the sexy photos, I knew immediately why she can't land a guy would will stick: she needs more attention than one person can give. She has all the hallmarks of someone who can't be loyal.


Dec 12, 2019 at 6:56pm

Someone telling a woman how to dress and how to behave! Goodness me, I don’t think any woman has ever heard that particular tale before, it certainly doesn’t go back centuries or anything like that! What a refreshing take on How To Land A Man. Good thing your life is 100% perfect, and I’m sure you are always drooling over the plain/ugly women out there with their clever minds and not thinking about your friend’s tits.

Self esteem

Dec 12, 2019 at 6:58pm

I think you’re on the money saying it’s a self esteem issue. She’s looking for validation. If she starts sleeping with guys that fast it’s probably less about the banging and more about feeling wanted and beautiful. She has to work on feeling wanted and beautiful by herself, without external validation - but it’s a tough road in a world that makes sales off of us feeling inadequate, particularly women.

13 5Rating: +8

Re: Sounds Like

Dec 13, 2019 at 12:45am

Sounds like Sounds Like is an incel who tries to pretend he isn't.

3 13Rating: -10


Dec 13, 2019 at 1:18am

I think it’s good that you haven’t shared your unsolicited opinion with her. Perhaps she’ll find a sex positive guy who thinks her social media pics are hot. She can have a clever mind AND dress scantily, can she not? BUTT if she is looking for a MAN like you then you better speak up or she’ll end up looking like a fool in front of all these proper mens.

9 5Rating: +4


Dec 13, 2019 at 11:51am

"I just wish that I could make her understand that there is NOTHING sexier than a clever mind"

Um, no.

actually, on second thought.....

yeah....still no.

7 7Rating: 0

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