I have a friend. She is very pretty, but she can’t understand why despite her looks, she is unable to find a guy that treats her right. The answer to her riddle is painfully obvious to me, but impossible to figure out for her. It all lies in her inability to DEMONSTRATE her own self-worth to those around her. Notice how I use the word DEMONSTRATE instead of verbally communicate. The reason for this, is that ultimately, saying to people that they must treat you right, means nothing if your own behavior towards them suggests there is absolutely no need for them to do so. For example, she engages in sex with these men surprisingly soon after she meets them, and then pulls her hair out because she can’t figure out why they soon lose interest, and why they make no effort. She has some deluded perception that showing more of her body when she dresses somehow makes her sexier, when in reality, this behavior screams insecurities and low self-esteem. She constantly, and openly takes pictures of herself in reveling underwear and sexual positions, and then puts them up on social media for the world to see.
I just wish that I could make her understand that there is NOTHING sexier than a clever mind, but I just don’t think she perceives herself as being able to offer to a potential partner more than just her body parts. Of course, looks are important, and I agree 100% with the fact that she should doll herself up and dress nicely, but there NEEDS to be more about her than just her boobs for her to find the type of man she expects. We are both around the same age (late 20’s), and I’m a guy, so I don’t think I’m the best person to tell her all of this. She is not particularly receptive to feedback, and this is definitely a touchy subject. I also don’t think it is even my place to do so, considering she has never invited my opinion on the matter. I care about her, but I guess for now I will continue to just watch her from the sidelines, and hope she wakes up one day and puts some actual clothes on!