Personal space

My roommates partner hid in my room to scare me today and it made me so angry. I don’t care if it sounds like I’m overreacting. I’m so irritated. Not only was he in my room completely uninvited, I didn’t invite him to grab me either. Nothing pisses me off faster than unwanted invasion of my personal space. Hide around the corner to startle me, for what purpose? I live in a kind of sketchy part of the city. I already look over my shoulder constantly. My home was broken into while I was present earlier this year. I’ve been followed home, I’ve had a stalker. Someone jumping out at me in my own home is not pleasant, or even slightly funny to me. Keep your hands to yourself and stay out of my space! Why do people think it’s entertaining to make others uncomfortable or scared? Grow up!

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Ellen DeGeneres has a regular feature

Jan 24, 2020 at 10:30am

where she scares the crap out of her guests.
I never understood the humour in this, seems very childish and one of her guests is going to have a heart attack one day.

I'm sorry that happened to you

Jan 24, 2020 at 11:03am

I, too, am very protective of my personal space and I understand the intense feelings that arise when it is violated. IMO your anger response is completely valid and reasonable.

Being at home during a break and enter sounds terrifying, and it was extremely shitty of that immature person to trigger that fear.

Show them this letter

Jan 24, 2020 at 11:24am

You have expressed your feelings well. And get a lock for your door, maybe keep your room locked when you're not home.

Lock it up

Jan 24, 2020 at 1:56pm

You're absolutely right, this is a huge violation of privacy and trust. It's also possible that your roommate's partner was in your room, snooping or looking for stuff to 'borrow', when he heard you coming and decided to cover for his behaviour by pretending that he had been planning to prank you the entire time. You need to sit down with your roommate (alone!) and hash out some boundaries for their partner's/guest's behaviour - your roommate is responsible for keeping his/her partner in check while they're in the house. Also, buy a lock for your door and keep it locked, if only for your peace of mind. Consider buying pepper spray as well, just in case your roommate's partner was actually just looking for a way to get hands on you. (I know that sounds paranoid but it's happened to both me and a girl I used to live with in uni.) Your safety and security is your top priority. If your roommate and his/her partner can't respect that, then lock it up and prepare to defend yourself if necessary. GOOD LUCK!!!!

That Person

Jan 24, 2020 at 6:11pm

Is an irresponsible dim witted idiot. I’m sorry you have to live with people. I could never go back.

I lost my shit

Jan 24, 2020 at 6:31pm

When this happened to me. I fucking lost my mind, just instant anger. Never did this fucker ever do it again. Anger keeps us safe - never give in on this point.

That's not okay

Jan 25, 2020 at 4:00pm

That would be a deal breaker for me. Too far. It'd be either him or me packing up at that point. Fuck that dude and your roommate for letting that happen.

Anonymous

Jan 26, 2020 at 4:11am

Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate the support.

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