Age Is a Number

I met this great guy but the problem is I am 36 and he's 20. The sex is amazing and he's so much fun to be around. Its just I want a family and he isn't ready. He's still is in college and living with roommates. I feel like I am holding him back sometimes. I just feel so stupid because I knew how old he was when I fell in love with him.


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Feb 20, 2020 at 11:29pm

You are holding him back. Don't trap him and steal his youth. A persons 20s and early 30s are the best years of their lives.

There is no problem

Feb 20, 2020 at 11:40pm

as long as you realize this is just a fun fling for you both.
Speaking as a non-active cougar.
Sure, a few rare older woman/younger man relationships have lasted - Max Caulfield (Grease 2) and Juliet Mills (18 yrs diff), Ruth Gordon & her 2nd husband (16 yrs diff), etc, but you know that those couples must have had either amazing compatibility or some spoken or unspoken agreements.
Most of the time it's just about amazing sex.

20 8Rating: +12


Feb 21, 2020 at 12:35am

In 10 years you will be nearly 50 and he will be 30. Think about that.

Right now "he's not ready"?? Good luck with that.

28 5Rating: +23

He is not...

Feb 21, 2020 at 3:30am

... too young, you are too old, you need to find a man ASAP if you want a family. If he's into it, 20 is fine, you'll both be alive for the kids.

I have a friend whose wife is an obstetrician and she gets women your age coming in going "so, I think I want to have a baby in, maybe, like, five or six years..." and she just looks at them and says "no, you want to have kids now or never."

So, if he is into it, great. And he'll be a good father, the best fathers I know make less money than their wives (presumably you ahve a career) and this means the wives can't just ditch them and still come out relatively unhurt economically.

He's ready biologically, and the rest just sort of happens once you have the kids. Don't buy the garbage that says you ahve everything ready to have kids, then have them, that's not how life works. Have the kids ASAP. Ask him if he's into it, let him decide, don't make the choice for him, what are you, his mom? :P

No surprise

Feb 21, 2020 at 8:18am

Men are obsessed with youth no surprises there.
Because you are an older woman with a younger man, you're holding him back. It wouldn't be any issue if you are were a younger women with an older man.
That's completely acceptable in society.
Having dated men that were 20 years older, it's not hypothetical.
Having said that, what do you have in common with this man other than great sex?


Feb 21, 2020 at 9:27am

You want a family and you’re dating a 20 year old?! Move on and leave him alone.

28 8Rating: +20

Believe him

Feb 21, 2020 at 10:35am

when he says he isn't ready. He's not and it will end badly if you force him. Do you know a lot of 20 yr old college guys? Most still have plans with a single life for awhile. My husband was 30 and said he he wasn't ready, I forced it because I was 35. We quickly had 2 kids, then he left when they were 3 and one and never came back. I've been a single mom for many years and it's very challenging. I think you are hoping he's 36 but he's not.

31 5Rating: +26

Waste of time

Feb 21, 2020 at 11:11am

I was interested in someone younger. He couldn't handle intimacy or vulnerability. If you didn't shower him with adoration or praise he became nasty. He would do immature stuff like silent treatments or hiding when any conflict presented himself. If you want mindless no strings fun, go ahead, but otherwise it's a huge waste of time. Stick with your own generation. Less grief, trust me.

24 6Rating: +18


Feb 21, 2020 at 1:42pm

Love plays all for fools. If you want kids and he doesn't, move on to someone who does. You're wasting YOUR time with him.

18 2Rating: +16

I hope....

Feb 22, 2020 at 1:51pm

he was at least 18 before you started inflicting your sexuality on him.

6 8Rating: -2

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