I get parental figures are important. I had the same relationship but with my mother not my father. She was not a nice person and I still struggle with issues brought on by by her lack of parenting skills to this day. I think the idea of the perfect, loving nuclear family is a bit of a fantasy. I know they exist but I know more people who grew up with shitty parents than loving, supportive ones. I honestly don't think my mom should have had kids I believe she would have been happier as a childless free spirit. People enter into parenting too casually, at least my mom and dad's generation did, it's one of the most profound, important decisions you're going to make in your life and should not be entered into lightly.

Was an angel.
My dad was a self centered baby.
Who was mean and uncaring to my mom and brother mostly. Using scare tactics, words and sometimes bute force. Seeing the people you love , hurt and not understanding why ?
Why were you so mean ?
After awhile sorry means nothing.
Family is a sham
I tried to make my family like a tv family.
I ended up with my (dad )for a boyfriend. Same behavior.
Shitty i didnt see it sooner.
Shitty
Cause I love my kids Always...

for getting the jerk cards! That's more than I can do. You're stronger than you think, thanks to him.

Well written OP. I also had a shitty dad and because of this I was a bad bad kid. At the time was mother was scared and alone and wasn't interested in being a parent either, so I raised myself, badly. I have no idea how I turned out ok, but yes, the issues will ALWAYS be there.

I have chosen NOT to have children because I want to have a happy life, and if I've learned anything, it's that there is a huge, I mean huge amount of people that either have no business having kids or regard it afterwards, and then those people breed, No thanks. With all of this being said I live a stress free, debt free life, even in Vancouver.. life is cheap without kids and debt.

Feel the exact same way, will always harbour distrust in men that stemmed from a piss poor relationship with a father. Tears always well up when I hear women talking about their wonderful dads that loved them. 40 y/old and never been in love nor loved by any man. Waiting for next lifetime.

I could of wrote this
I agree with “ kudos “
You are stronger than you think

The adults I have met with poor coping skills in life were coddled as children. So I am grateful that I was not coddled and perservered through adversity.

That when you have shitty dad. Which I did, you have bad relationships with all men...

With that being said. I have always had a VERY strong stance to not have ANY shitty of DB guys in my life. I've only even had wonderful partners. I have a SUPER high standard for only having kind men in my life after having such a shitting one for so long.

" Because of him I’ve never had a decent relationship with a man." You know you have a choice: continue to blame other people for your problems or try to get help. I don't know how old you are but it gets more and more lame the older you get to continue to blame your parents for your problems. Get some counselling, educate yourself (the library is amazing and free!), examine your life and your choices and make different choices.

I had supportive parents, especially compared to what's out there, and things look good to outsiders, but I'm still pretty ducked up and have some experiences I wouldn't wish on anyone

My dad was mediocre, like most dads of his era. Obsessed with work, good provider, not a playmate or role model or really very visible at home. I resolved that I would be like the dad in Roald Dahl's book: SPARKY! Interested, present, attentive, and loving.

It's working out so far, the kids are 23 and 20 and still seem to like their parents!