I may be nuts, like really crazy. Or something I feel like the world around me is not real. I feel like I am the only one who cares, but am told that caring is not even close to my wheelhouse. I don't get it, I make improvements and no one cares I do better it's no good I'm still the same pos. I really try to empathize with others, if I cry I'm weak and disgusting, if I fall in love that person tears me down for being too this or too that and heart broken, sad and lonely beings tears that bring further disgust. I just do not want to live here no more. This planet is a really shitty place, full of shitty people. Sorry I said it didn't feel real to me, I'm sure most to all of you are really great people, I'm just nuts.