Spent far too long wallowing in self pitty, waiting for things to happen the way i want them to. Recently came to the realization that i could actually do some things to possibly help things turn out the way i want to ( also the realization that i am kind of dumb for taking so long to realize this). The realist in me points out, that since it took so long for me to reach this conclusion, some dynamics may have changed, and things may not play out how i want. But i feel so much better knowing that i am actually trying to make a difference. Even if it is too late.