Judgement

I feel terrible about this and I wish it wasn’t something I focus on so much but I can’t help it. I can’t stand the look of fat on the human body. Obviously skin and bones isn’t the best look but I actually like the way that looks compared to any amount of fat. Any lumpy fat or muffin top just looks awful to me. Anytime I see a “curvy” woman on tv or the internet the first thing I think is, ok lose 40lbs and you’d look great. In my mind curvy just means fat and I’m just as critical with my own body and it makes my life hell. I wish I could stop. It just goes to show how conditioned we are by commercials and magazines. I grew up in the 90’s when heroin chic was in fashion and it really messed up my perception of beauty.

10 Comments

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it's a confession, we get it

Feb 24, 2020 at 3:49pm

The question I have is not whether you can help feeling attracted to people who you find attractive - because you can't - but whether you truly wish you could stop. Do you really want to want people that you don't want? Wouldn't that be the "dreaded conversion therapy"?

9 9Rating: 0

I like some meat on the bones...

Feb 24, 2020 at 4:02pm

... if there's a famine, you have something to nosh on.

16 5Rating: +11

Ribbit

Feb 24, 2020 at 5:10pm

Well to each their own. I personally like women with the odd combination of thick middles and skinny limbs.

Your perception is not messed up

Feb 24, 2020 at 8:50pm

There is NOTHING good about obesity. From heart problems, to diabetes, organ damage and all the way to joint and spine damage.

Yesbut

Feb 24, 2020 at 11:11pm

A bit of muffin top is nice.
The ripped look is more work to maintain for most people, especially after mid-thirties. I know it is for me.
Fully developed humans also possess character, wit, kindness and charm. An extra 5-10 percent of body mass is not at all a problem, especially if they're fit, graceful, capable and poised.
Can't do physical perfection. We've met, and it's totally not my speed. Especially the pretty, empty ones.
Rather have human, flawed and attainable any day.

26 6Rating: +20

Luca

Feb 25, 2020 at 3:48am

Confession: I am fit but I’m physically attracted to super thin women. I’m so attracted to curves, thighs, bum. Just a confession too

But the hottest thing is how a woman carries herself - confidence. Be you ladies, the right guy will come

11 6Rating: +5

I doubt it has anything

Feb 25, 2020 at 6:53am

to do with "90s commercials". It is your particular 'thing' I suspect.

13 5Rating: +8

Interesting

Feb 25, 2020 at 8:45am

I'm 30 pounds up from my ideal perfect body. I have a thick middle and I HATE it on me, but it's totally my fault. With that said I eat well and do plan to loose it. I am NOT ok with this. With that said I really do wonder how fat people are ok with being this way, I can hide mine very well, but a lot of people don't even try, like what?

12 9Rating: +3

@Yesbut

Feb 25, 2020 at 9:19am

It's not true.

I've always been fat. It's not fun. people say they like fatties but they don't. I keep hoping I get one of these fabled heart attacks and die, it's not fun. I remember when I dated. I wasn't as fat, but then I gained about 10 pounds and my girlfriend said "you're not attractive anymore, lose weight." So I tried and tried. She left me anyway. Now I don't date. What's the point?

I think they should let me have assisted suicide. But they won't. I can't afford to travel to a country that will.

There is discrimination in everything when you're fat. People think you're less competent at your job. Like, we hear this bullshit about how people are racist, sexist, that's garbage. I mean, it's not universal, sure some are racist and sexist. Almost everyone has this "oh, you're fat, you must be too stupid to eat properly" attitude.

And I did starve myself to lose weight once, and for the 18 months or so it lasted, people treated me much better. But that required me, over 6', to eat like 800 calories a day, which isn't sustainable. I also developed hypertension after doing that for a while. 100 pounds more, I had fine blood pressure.

And I'm a guy, I bet its much worse for women. I just wish I was dead. I don't go out anymore. Nobody wants to see me.

8 10Rating: -2

Yesbut

Feb 25, 2020 at 2:57pm

@@yesbut
So, here's the thing...
I have a family history of obesity. Both sides, in some cases corpulent to the point of immobility, three generations or more. Grew up malnourished and stunted. Medicine was something to avoid, if you had any options (but they got me anyway, with appalling results). Drank too much sugar for over a decade. Ate badly. Smoked for years. Then stopped and drank myself to sleep daily, instead. Again, for years.
Was overweight-to-obese for decades.
Over the last 5 years, through painful and sometimes traumatic experiments on myself, I figured out what worked for me. Eating habits, exercise and supplements.
The payoff: people treat me better, just as you said. It's hard, ongoing work, but worth it. Pudge doesn't look good on me. I do what's needed to keep it off.

Over a decade ago, a coworker chose gastric bypass surgery to solve her lifelong struggle with obesity. That worked, and though it was hard going, after a year she said it was the best decision she ever made.
Choices.

7 7Rating: 0

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