I’m sorry but...

I feel like I’m watching a person completely losing their mind. It’s so sad to see, but now, especially now, I really can’t do anything about it. I am in a high risk category and so are they. They have been coping (very badly) with many very stressful situations for some time, many of which are a direct result of their own behaviour. It’s been very difficult to continue being their friend, because they are so totally self-absorbed that it’s exhausting being around them. Since this quarantine situation has been happening, I’ve not seen them, but they’ve been active on social media. Posting increasingly bizarre rants about how other people are handling this pandemic. It is really sad. I would like to call them but I know from past experience how they react when anyone says anything they disagree with. They just rant even more, so convinced are they that they’re the only one that’s right. I’m doing my best to remain positive in the face of my own multiple challenges over the past few years, and I really don’t feel able to deal with theirs. But watching them completely implode in such a public way is like watching a car speeding towards a cliff. You know how it’s going to end and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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Sommat Bookish

Mar 30, 2020 at 11:58am

Try studying some psychology for insight on this person. It sounds like they are venting and you are very judgemental rather than empathetic and perhaps not such a good listener or social agent as you pretend to be. Do you owe them any money perhaps? That would make anyone angry especially if you also try to pretend you are not able to pay them back when you know very well that you can afford it. Better still send them a refund of everything they spent on you

Life is long

Mar 30, 2020 at 1:03pm

While you may be watching someone speed off a cliff, no one knows the future, and one day someone you know may say the same thing about you.
Life is hard. Don't pretend it isn't.

19 6Rating: +13

Good

Mar 30, 2020 at 1:08pm

They dont need a shitty friend like u anyways.
Stay lost..

20 8Rating: +12

I agree...

Mar 30, 2020 at 2:52pm

...with the other comments here (except for the part about owing money because that's just weird). I hope this person you're talking about has other people in their life who are compassionate, as opposed to a holier-than-thou sunny-day "friend" like you who just watches them flail and thinks it's "so sad."

22 9Rating: +13

You’re a lousy friend

Mar 30, 2020 at 3:27pm

And you’re ranting in your post.
Lots of negative energy coming from your direction.

A result of their own behaviour?

Mar 30, 2020 at 4:23pm

Are you sure about that? Or maybe they have experienced deep injustices by people who helped them trip over their own feet? It's one thing to make a mistake, everybody does that. It's quite another to get dragged and crucified because someone was waiting patiently (and helping them) to fuck up for their own perverse pleasure and profit.

15 6Rating: +9

Op

Mar 30, 2020 at 7:21pm

Okay. Firstly, I’ve been there for this person multiple times when no one else was. When I say they’re creating the majority of their problems I’m not kidding. They have a therapist but so far they’ve only gotten worse. Secondly, the multiple challenges I have been dealing with of my own for many years are extremely serious; in fact, much more serious than any they’ve been dealing with. This person makes one terrible choice after another. They freak out when anyone disagrees with them or even tries to make suggestions. I’ve run out of patience. In fact it would be great to have them, for once, ask me how I’M doing, and actually listen when I answer. Instead, the minute the conversation drifts slightly away from being about them, they immediately interrupt to turn it back into being all about them. As for studying psychology; thanks for the suggestions. As it happens, I have a BA in that field. I care about them, but at this point I cannot be part of their life anymore. They need more help than I’m able to provide.

19 8Rating: +11

@OP

Mar 30, 2020 at 9:46pm

I'm sorry, but... Having a BA in psychology doesn't teach a person kindness and compassion. Also, playing the "my problems are bigger than yours" game just goes to show how self-involved you are. One person's personal experiences and feels shouldn't be invalidated because of someone else's. It sounds like you need your own therapy. Hopefully you can get the help you need.

16 9Rating: +7

I went nearly speeding over a cliff

Mar 31, 2020 at 3:37am

Amplified by one shitty former friends constant emails. I also had an angel in the darkness reach out just as I was going over.
long story short, I can look back at my shitty behaviour now, because I've put together 14 months of working, sobriety, school, normal family life and a bazillion other things I've never had and never been.
I definitely don't forget the one who took pleasure in pushing for the crash.

10 4Rating: +6

@@Op

Mar 31, 2020 at 6:56am

Apparently you’re missing the irony of your comments. As in, you’re accusing me of being mean and judgemental, when you know absolutely nothing about me. So who’s being judgemental here? The reason I’ve backed away has nothing to do with me not being kind or compassionate. It’s because I cannot help them, although I’ve been almost the only person in their life that didn’t vanish when they began really losing it. And when I say I’ve got very serious issues I’m dealing with myself, I’m not kidding. I’ve been seriously ill and in and out of hospital for years. This person was sure not there for me during those times. So kindly keep your assumptions to yourself.

14 7Rating: +7

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