Maybe you don't really know your friend and you both think the same about each other and yourselves.

I almost feel like i wrote this confession myself, but i was really drunk and don't remember doing it.

I am wxperiencing the exact same situation, to a tee

sometimes you just shut down and go through the motions, doing anything outside the set routine takes effort and getting out of bed takes everything out of you. while you're judging his behavior, he could be really struggling to just get through the day. saying "why don't you just X" doesn't help.

Special someone who he is sure together the two of them can find, help and overcome both their demons. Sometimes people who have spent their lives living in the ghetto and striving to survive each and everyday, feel like it would be so much easier to pull themselves up and out with another who is aware of how much pain is available to all those who lived like this. Two who know how the other feels, but both have different strengths that compliment one another making them stronger together than on their own. Possibly it might be worth a try to help each other from this place instead of pushing each other away and going it alone is all. If it were to falter and prove to be a disaster you could pull out and say we tried but we must do this alone it looks like.

re: depression is a real condition

Why would you feel the need to tell someone with depression that depression is real? Why would you accuse me of "saying 'why don't you just x'" when you have no idea what I am or am not saying to the friend? What a dumb comment.

You know I like being miserable so that makes me happy. But then I don’t like being happy so that makes me miserable. I’m a mess!

You just never know, people can only take so much before they do what they can to fix shit.

Just hold up a mirror.
Usually snaps them out of their shit antics.

It's clear you don't know shit about depression. This is what most people who understand it on a basic level see when they come across you're post:

I'm pretty shit, but hey look at my friend over here. Better shit on him to make myself feel better. Oh, didn't know? Depression's the same for everyone across the board.

Wait, why would someone claiming to have depression be comparing theirs to anyone else?