I'm "the strong friend". The one who seems to have it all together, to never lose their shit, to always be a pillar. Little do my friends know, I am deeply emotionally traumatized, and I've never been given the chance to open up about it, especially because of said emotional trauma, this is as close to opening up as I'll ever be. And what they really don't know is, without their friendship, and without feeling like a pillar that is needed in their life, I'd probably off myself. I think about my friends who rely on me and it keeps me going. I could never let them down. The thought of leaving them or hurting them in such a way is far more disgraceful than my view on my own life. How crazy is that?