The same night I watched my mother die is also the same night I found out my cousin committed suicide. I feel so gutted. I’m in such disbelief, I just want to be numb. Because of this Covid 19 bs, I can’t check into the emergency for my emotional distress in regards to my traumatic losses, as I’ve done in the past before. I’m trying so bloody hard to stay strong, but I just want to call the dealer buy a bunch of dope and get high. I feel so alone and isolated.