Too independent

I must have a soul mate Somewhere but We can’t be together Because I smoke pot And he prefers the harder things He wanted to get married and have a family I wanted to become someone worth marrying Before I had a family I had no idea that i’d have to choose one Over the other How unfair to live a life Healing myself from traumas Brought on by men To vigilantly protecting myself from Men only to reach a stage Where Men no longer want me And I’m dying to be loved by them. Looking into my aging eyes reminds them Of their own mortality. I’ve always loved the maturity Of an older man Yet I cant compete with the reassurance Of a much younger woman. I wanted to be cool for him So we could live a cool life Together and grow old In an unconventional way He wanted a smaller version Of me. Same smile, same hair But with a smaller More showcaseable body I wanted a smart man But Being smart is very attractive And he married someone who really Wanted to get married. Smart men don’t need to stay single Being single is more work And that isn’t smart I wanted to be independent For him So we could be equal partners In life He wanted to feel needed And knowing that I could Do it without him Made him insecure I worked on myself I stopped comparing myself To other women. But he liked it when I was jealous It made him feel powerful The drama that I worked so Dilligently to remove from my life Was the substance he built His existence around It gave him a sense of purpose I wanted to find someone Who has seen some shit Yet still lives in the light But those men are pieces That fit someone else’s puzzle I wanted to find true love When I’d really grown up Only I grew up into An era full of porn and polyamory I accept that I was never meant To bear children of my own There was a reason I couldn’t picture it But I wanted someone to love me so much that they wanted To have children with me I can live without the children But without that love? It never occurred to me that I’d have to.

13 Comments

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HeeeerE's Johnny

Mar 13, 2020 at 5:26pm

Dam
Miss Indepedent
Smokes
Matchmade in Heaven
I'm in love
Pick Me
Can u handles the Truth

Beautiful

Mar 13, 2020 at 5:53pm

I feel for you so much. As another woman who has longed to find a man who would truly understand and appreciate me for who I am, instead of just what I looked like or what I could do for them. I’ve done the marriage and kids thing. I’ve done common law. I’ve “dated” forever. But still I’m alone. I think they want far more from us than they can offer themselves, and I’m no longer willing to be the only person doing all the compromising. So that leaves me lonely and him lonely, and no one wins. Still, I’m not going to settle anymore, for some guy who thinks he’s doing me a favour.

Anonymous

Mar 13, 2020 at 6:35pm

I recommend finding someone who is not from here, someone with a fresh cultural perspective.

forget this guy

Mar 13, 2020 at 8:16pm

you need to clear him out of your heart and your mind and focus on finding a new man that doesn't try to lay so much crap on you. he's out there.

15 8Rating: +7

Your words are gorgeous

Mar 13, 2020 at 10:54pm

And speak the truth to many women. Thank you for sharing them. Get yourself into a writing class, and these words off to magazines. You're obviously meant to share them with a broader audience :)

Karmic Kindergarten

Mar 14, 2020 at 2:07am

Tonight's episode: " Egregious Rce-holes R Us"

6 10Rating: -4

@beautiful and @op

Mar 14, 2020 at 9:02am

Right. Please blame EVERYONE else because the common denominator couldn’t possibly be you. Maybe it’s hard to find someone who appreciates you because … it’s hard to find anyone of any gender like that? But go on. Blame men. Just as many men continue to paint all women with the same tired stereotypes too.

7 19Rating: -12

No, no, no

Mar 14, 2020 at 10:09am

Nice try

7 12Rating: -5

All this for a

Mar 14, 2020 at 10:17am

Man. Too independent, perhaps? Need of mental help, definitely. In short, you’re like cling wrap and a dryer sheet wrapped into one. You can’t decide between clingy & aloof. Maybe you should just focus on being single or perhaps see if you like the same sex? Definitely get some help, your grammar was atrocious.

@Beautiful

Mar 14, 2020 at 3:21pm

I'm not a good looking guy in any way. Have a lumpy build. Going bald. Crooked nose. But I'm great,kind,thoughtful, and my 4 nieces adore me. Outgoing. Friendly. etc.
In my work I interact with people all over the world via phone and email, and everyone lights up when I call and we have great convos not concerned with work.
Ignored and rejected at every chance in courses,pubs, Meetups,etc.
Been on every dating site, alternating, between them for years with a good profile. Only one messaged me,never heard back.
Have written thoughtful messages to hundreds, not a single reply back. It's safe to say many thousands of women have looked at my profile,and not a single one thought me worthy.
As an experiment I got Tinder,and swiped on every single profile and as expected, not a single one had swiped on me. Bumble was a shutout.

So please don't tell that men are so shallow,women are as bad if not worse. And please don't complain that man have nothing to offer, as it just as often goes the other way.

20 9Rating: +11

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