That's All You Can Be

posted April 9th, 2020 at 10:04 PM

I have this thing I suffer from. I won't go in to detail, but it involves me wanting to be someone else. Not someone in particular, but just not me. I'm learning and growing. I'm figuring out late in life that I'm in there somewhere, and she's great. This all might sound simple and obvious to other people, but I wanted to share in case it helps even just one other person. Be you. And try to love you. If there are parts and pieces you need to work on, that's OK. But you will find yourself, and when you do - even if it's just for a fleeting moment - hang on to that. Remind yourself of that the next time you think someone is smarter, kinder, more creative, more successful, or just generally better... Come back to yourself. You are there. You is all you can be. And that's wonderful.

4 Comments

Malcolm Wright

Apr 10, 2020 at 8:31am

I think there is a book: IMPOSTER SYNDROME. It may help you understand what's going on. Good Luck.

:-)

Apr 10, 2020 at 10:23am

Darla McWin

Apr 10, 2020 at 3:45pm

Tip: There is no "you".
And the reason there need be no you is because when the "you" you think you are is shattered and destroyed by something outside your capacity to effect, you will either have to change or suffer.
So lets say you suffer because something bad happens. To alleviate your suffering, you will have to invent or design a new way of seeing, a different perspective, a new outlook. But now ask, if the outlook of the animal is different, can they be the same animal they were before? Or does a new appreciation fundamentally change this supposedly authentic "you"? If it does, and extrinsic circumstances alter "you", how can you be the same? There must be a different "you".
And there isn't. There is no different "you".
You are fluid and changeable. The "you" we all make claims on is held together only by the circumstances of our existence and the narratives we develop to preserve our sense of meaning. Our "you" is sticky tape and baling wire. If you want to preserve a semblance of sanity (usually to provide the comforts of familiarity to others) know that you are capable and resilient of seeing and being in the world is many many different ways.