Another LDR Sad Story

So I recently broke up with my boyfriend of one year. It was the second time we broke up. He broke up with me the first time as I had to move to another country for work and he thought he just can't do long distance. We agreed to stay in touch and remain friends, even though we've broken up. A week after my move, we started talking again and started catching feelings for each other again. He told me that the break up was a mistake as he's never been in LDR before and he realized how much he missed me. So long story short, we got back together. But the second time felt a bit different as he wanted to have a casual relationship with me while i wanted us to be just like how we used to be. Since we have different ideas of what we want in our relationship, we often argued about silly little things. I complained about how he wasn't giving me much attention and he on the other hand felt like i was being needy as he needs to focus on his work and other stuff too. So one day we decided to break up for the second time. Only this time, i was the one who called it quit. I know we both still have feelings for each other, and he even told me he hasn't ready to move on yet. But he only wants a casual relationship since we're away. If i decide to move back home, should i look for him again or should i just let this relationship go and move on for good? I'm feeling devastated. Friends are telling me to move on as we don't have a future together but i'm not ready to give up just yet. Any advice?

8 Comments

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I'm still so angry

May 31, 2020 at 8:25pm

At having a relationship terminated before I was ready to move on. The frustration is real and to further compound things her life has subsequently failed and she knows it's because of the bad karma she brought down on herself

Sorry, but I got to side with him.

May 31, 2020 at 9:58pm

It's a long distance relationship, it's impossible to be the same as it was when you were living in the same area.

It sounds to me like he was being realistic, and yeah, I think you were probably being needy.

And as someone else said, breaking up with someone when they're still invested is a bad move. Usually you do that when your 100%finished with the relationship, so how it affects them isnt really relevant to you when your considering what's best for you.

But you broke it off with him, for illogical reasons, while you both had feelings for eachother. That's going to leave a very bitter taste in his mouth.

9 19Rating: -10

It’s tough

May 31, 2020 at 10:47pm

These types of situations are hard for everyone. Ultimately you have to do what’s right for you, whether he thinks so or not. It hurts right now but you weren’t on the same page with him so it doesn’t make sense to keep going with a relationship that isn’t what you want. I think you made the right decision 100%.

17 2Rating: +15

@ sorry

May 31, 2020 at 10:52pm

I’m not sure where you got the idea that both people have to be completely over the relationship in order to end it. That’s rarely the way it works. Often people break up with someone that they still love very much, because the relationship isn’t working for whatever reason. That’s the hardest thing to do in fact; to walk away from someone you love because they can’t offer you what you need or want in a relationship. Unfortunately, love is often not enough.

21 6Rating: +15

@ I'm still

Jun 2, 2020 at 11:23am

WTF Asshole??
It's not your right to say "we can't break up til I'm ready!" And what does "ready" mean - you found some other women so you don't have to be alone? Tough shit shithead! Everybody gets dumped when they're not ready and we all have to accept it and move on. If you had, then maybe you'd be with someone instead of simmering in your bile.
And how has her life "failed"? Because she's single and/or doesn't have kids? Maybe she's just been afraid of ending up in another hellish relationship like the one she had with you.

11 5Rating: +6

If

Jun 2, 2020 at 12:12pm

the sex is good, keep him as your number 2 but if not have him one last time then cut him loose.

5 8Rating: -3

Love is not enough!

Jun 3, 2020 at 5:14am

You wouldn't know love from a bounced rent cheque

5 6Rating: -1

Here's my advice

Jun 4, 2020 at 12:08am

You chose your much more significant career over the not as so significant other. The love for your career was greater to you than your love for them. Unless you had a kid together or some shared financial responsibility neither of you should have agreed to remain in contact. The two of you should have agreed to completely block each other out of your lives for good instead of engaging in some pointlessly slow and painful death for your doomed and fruitless relationship.
Unless you've decided on a date to make this guy more significant than your current career and choose another that doesn't take you away from him, quit playing these absurd games with yourselves and move on with your life and leave him to do the same.

5 2Rating: +3

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