Hiding behind humour

I love a great sense of humour. I have one and the only type of partner I can handle must also possess that quality. However, there’s a difference between having a sense of humour and hiding behind it. When someone isn’t capable of responding in a sincere and open way to something involving real emotions and feelings, without resorting to trying to deflect the conversation by trying to be funny, it makes it very difficult to have a genuine relationship with them. To me this behaviour shows an insecurity and inability to truly connect with others, and ultimately, it means that you’re not likely to ever have a truly close relationship with anyone, because you can’t ever just get real.

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Been there

May 19, 2020 at 2:06pm

Been in that situation before so I totally feel everything you've described. I prefer to be blunt and tell it like it is. Yes, it's one thing to be funny but hiding behind humor is beating around the bush. It's confusing and frustrating. Unfortunately, that's why I had to cut some people out of my life. These people that I knew used humor as a weapon to dance around straight forward questions instead of giving me honest answers. That told me they clearly lived in a fantasy world of willful ignorance: nothing but lollipops, rainbows and unicorn farts. They simply did not know how to face reality. These people I knew were clearly afraid of the truth. The truth does hurt, but it's life. If nobody understands you just because you tell it like it is, that's their problem. Don't put yourself in a position where you need people to understand. Their loss, not yours. Just let them go.

17 7Rating: +10

Don't hold back

May 19, 2020 at 5:21pm

Let me have it. Bring it on. I'll still be around when you need some help, but I'll still use that dry wit that you despise. I'm not going to care just because you're upset.

Maybe you mistake

May 19, 2020 at 7:07pm

what you call “good sense of humour” is perhaps the opposite of and you’re really just an insensitive pos who thinks sarcastically joking remarks are humour? I assume your partner has a great sense of humour too - “oh yeah baby, you’re so big, I can feel you so deep inside, keep giving me your big, huge, swollen member, I can’t it, please stop?” Sound familiar? Just a guess.

Can't

May 19, 2020 at 8:12pm

Or ones that use humour after intentionally saying or doing things they know cut to the core. Cycles of abuse they aren't aware of or don't care.

Solitude isn't for sissys

May 19, 2020 at 10:09pm

Takes a special kind of defection to entertain one's seff long long time

5 12Rating: -7

Anonymous

May 20, 2020 at 10:58am

Humor is amazing.
Can make a bad day better.
But using stupid humor that makes no sense to deflect communicating.
Because you really dont care.
Well
Makes you insensitive and not a person I would care to be around.
You can feel mean thoughts , meaningless jesters.
It permeates the air.

8 11Rating: -3

Op

May 20, 2020 at 4:59pm

What I feel when this happens is that the person who is ignoring the genuine thoughts/emotions of the person who’s trying to tell them something is afraid of actual genuine emotions or feelings. They lack the ability to truly connect with other people, so they resort to distractions like humour or some type of cerebral interpretation. It makes me feel ignored and invalidated. For the guy who thinks it’s his “dry wit” I’m talking about; trust me , you’re not the person I’m talking about. I’m actually known as a person with a wicked sense of humour, so it doesn’t scare me in the slightest. All I want is for a partner who can differentiate between the time for humour and the time for getting real.

14 5Rating: +9

Anonymous

May 22, 2020 at 9:07pm

Sounds like the OP has a hate on for people with schizoid personality disorder. As if life isn't hard enough for people with mental illness. The irony is that op probably thinks they are a politically correct person, but still needs to shit on people who are different in order to feel better about themself.

4 11Rating: -7

@ Anonymous

May 23, 2020 at 4:41pm

What are you on? How did you come up with such a bizarre interpretation of the post? I’d say that you’re definitely projecting here buddy.

7 8Rating: -1

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