I don't know why it upset me so much

My husband and I live in one bedroom. Aside from the actual bedroom everything else is open floor plan. Today, his work asked that he have his video camera ON for Zoom calls to help "keep a sense of community" so he asked that I essentially go hide in the bedroom for an hour. He doesn't want to do it from the bedroom himself. It's raining pretty hard so our outdoor space is a no-go. I'm not feeling 100% so I don't want to go OUT out. I'm |Covid unemployed so what dose it matter. I guess that's why I'm so upset. IT DOESN'T MATTER. He could ask me to disappear for a week and it wouldn't even matter. Who am I kidding, a MONTH. He out earns me 10 fold so I already struggle with not feeling like a loser on "normal" days. I mad/sad he didn't speak to his ppl about this. He's quite high up on the corporate totem pole where he works. Why not say "Hey, probably like many of you, my spouse/kid/roommate/etc. is home right now and it's unfair for me to ask them to skulk around for an hour." Like I said I don't know why this upset so much. I'm dusting the bedroom and crying . Pretty pathetic sight.

23 Comments

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Umm

May 25, 2020 at 1:46pm

I think you are being VERY unreasonable. I know Covid has made us all a bit kooky, but really?!?
I think you need to get out for a walk... it will do you good.

Zoom doom

May 25, 2020 at 2:22pm

It’s okay, OP. I think it’s totally reasonable to be pissed about being banished to the bedroom. If I were in your shoes I would be upset if a Zoom meeting were prioritized over me.

Also, I think we’re all reaching new levels of stress at this strange juncture of “reopening but still distancing.” Your emotions are valid and you are not alone.

seems reasonable

May 25, 2020 at 2:35pm

Unless they don't know he lives with someone. which would be another can of worms. I agree that the first thing would be highlighting that there's a limitation on his zoom. other employees likely have had that respect to their others.

13 5Rating: +8

automaton

May 25, 2020 at 2:45pm

Excersie will do you good, sounds like you could use the endorphins.

16 3Rating: +13

please get some help

May 25, 2020 at 3:19pm

I'm sorry this is hard for you! Truly. The thing is, his workplace isn't being unreasonable -- highly annoying, yes, for sure -- but this is one hour out of a 7 or 8 hour workday? Lie in bed and do some meditation or stretching. Have a nice long bath (or shower, or do a face mask). Go for a walk (rainboots, umbrella? - I don't really understand your claim of not feeling 100%, I feel like shit most days but being outside for a while helps a little.) Read a book in the bedroom for an hour. Watch a TV show for an hour with headphones on. Does your husband have benefits from work? An appointment with a counsellor could really help you out.

I'm not saying this from nowhere: I live in 600 sq ft of open concept with my partner. No bedroom door to shut, only the bathroom. I'm working, partner is COVID unemployed and he gets out of the way when I tell him I have to be on camera for a Zoom meeting. Please get some help, you sound like you've reached a breaking point.

35 9Rating: +26

Umm...actually I think compassion is needed

May 25, 2020 at 3:25pm

Compassion for others but also yourself is important right now. You said yourself you don't understand why you're upset and that's because you're probably not upset about JUST this. You had a "Covid moment" where something that normally wouldn't upset you did and then everything came crashing down. We've all had them and we'll probably all have more as the days, weeks, months stretch on. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or a bit of a sociopath.

21 5Rating: +16

Accomodations

May 25, 2020 at 3:59pm

Could your partner have the Zoom meeting angled so that you are free to be in your own home? Asking someone to stay hidden in the bedroom/toliet/closet is insensitive. We are in a very small condo (3 ppl, 550 sq feet), yet everyone is free to roam as they wish. My laptop points to the wall so no one can be seen. Also, your partner could turn on Virtual background so that no one is visible but him.

21 5Rating: +16

Omg get over yourself

May 25, 2020 at 4:51pm

Take a nap, have a bath, read a book. Your husband is asking you to leave the room for an hour FOR WORK RELATED REASONS, which would appear to pay for the majority of your joint lifestyle, and you’re whining and giving him grief? I’m a woman and this type of behaviour is just embarrassing. How much more would you whine if he lost his job? Unbelievable.

Understandable

May 25, 2020 at 4:52pm

Right now, sometimes even the smallest, most innocuous request or change....that under normal circumstance would be no big deal....becomes a big deal! I feel like I've done everything I can and am exhausted physically, emotionally, mentally.

Do what you can to let it go.

22 5Rating: +17

Just no

May 25, 2020 at 6:51pm

Your husband is trying to stay professional while working from home. I’m sure it’s not his preference either, since he doesn’t have the luxury of a home office. This is something you should simply suck up.

27 8Rating: +19

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