Irony

I got blocked on social media all because I called someone out on their bullshit. Why do people constantly get attacked for speaking up and telling it like it is? I prefer people to be honest and upfront with me instead of beating around the bush.

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Depends

May 31, 2020 at 2:02pm

"Why do people constantly get attacked for speaking up and telling it like it is?" It depends on what the issue is and how you're 'calling someone out'. There are two sides to every story and everyone has the right to tell their story as they remember it. Memory is porous and we tend to see and remember things through the lens of our own experiences. Long story short, how you remember an event may be different than how someone else remembers it and you're both right, just in different ways. (Understand that I'm speaking about figurative memory, not literal. For example, if someone remembers an event taking place in Vancouver but it actually took place in Victoria, that's a literal difference. Figurative memory is how events were understood and interpreted by the parties involved.) So, you aren't the arbiter of "like it is" any more than they are.

In terms of the "how", if you're coming at someone from an angry and self-righteous place, of course they're going to avoid you by whatever means necessary. Learning how to manage confrontation in non-aggressive and constructive ways is a complex life skill that most people don't master in their lifetimes (or care to, in some cases). It's worth working on, though, as confrontation is a fact of life and good things can happen when it's managed well.

Finally, is the 'bullshit' that you called the other person out on about you? Can you speak to the event or experience first hand? Or is the other person simply expressing an opinion or engaging in an activity that you disagree with? There's a fine line between calling someone out on bad behaviour and trying to control the other person's actions. Specifically, bullies need to control people - it makes them feel powerful and validated which is why they always come back for more until they eventually meet the 'chair leg of truth' (courtesy Dr. Nerdlove). If instead you're calling out someone in your friend group who consistently acts badly but everyone ignores it, then you're not just calling out this person, you're calling out the entire clique for enabling this one bad apple. This won't buy you any friends, and will cause a lot of drama but, in the end, is a good thing - you get a new group of better friends, they get a wake-up call about their enabling behaviour.

Sorry for the long note - your confession wasn't specific so my suggestions/interpretations were general

16 2Rating: +14

Anonymous

May 31, 2020 at 2:23pm

Two sides to every story and yours may not be right.
Talk about it in person if it's so important and you are really "friends".

11 4Rating: +7

Oh you didn't hear

May 31, 2020 at 2:39pm

You can't do that these days. You either have to follow the popular opinion or your out. Sucks balls, but this is our world now.

15 8Rating: +7

Anonymous

May 31, 2020 at 4:17pm

People are reactive when they get called out on their bullshit because it’s hard to face one’s own bullshit.

Blocking may be more about suppressing an uncomfortable truth than it is about you as a person.

8 5Rating: +3

Wussy Karen's

May 31, 2020 at 10:33pm

We've turned into a culture of offence takers. If whatever you say doesn't fit into my worldview, you're a hater and you must be punished.

10 3Rating: +7

It depends

Jun 1, 2020 at 4:57am

It really depends on the specific situation and the platform you’re talking about. If it’s comments on someone’s personal FB for instance, where it would be read by the people they’re friends with, then that’s not the place to be “calling them out” because you’d be humiliating them in a public way. Everyone has their own version of “truth”, because everyone can only see things through their own personal perspective. Therefore, “facts” are often open for interpretation unless they’re literal. If you feel the need to call someone out on something that you think is bullshit, a public forum isn’t the place to do it unless you don’t mind getting shut out, which is the other person’s prerogative.

8 0Rating: +8

Anonymous

Jun 1, 2020 at 7:08am

Vancouverites, and Canadians in general aren’t comfortable with direct confrontation unless they specifically have the advantage. In Canada, passive aggression has been elevated to an art form, as has doublespeak and groupthink. You’ll probably have very little success using basic, straightforward communication.

9 4Rating: +5

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