Not working so....

I've been going thru the Confessions starting from the beginning - Feb '11. (a few months later was the last time I saw him) I'm not reading all of them, skim most of them... just read the interesting and/or the funny ones. Now up to 2017. See the ones that were to him and the ones that could of been from him.... some i hope are, some i don't. But there was one, that i haven't seen since that year, that really seemed like it could have been from him because it mentioned things that only he could have known along with his incorrect, although understandable, assumptions. What was the punch was learning that certain mutual aquaintances had been apparently (either innocently or not) suggesting stuff that was way off track. A friend asked why i would care about someone who would believe lies, but i understand why he would want to believe that. Choosing to believe that the other person is a bad person is easier than acknowledging that things didn't happen because of a lack of communication. I could have told him how i felt, sure. But logic seemed that - why would he want to be with somene who's only attractive on the inside when he could be with someone who's both inside and out (like him)? He probably thought i was contacting him to try for a 2nd chance, but if i didn't think i was worthy back then, i sure af am not going to think i'm worthy now. Plus even if i was worthy, i'm not into trying for another woman's man. It probably wouldn't have lasted (most older woman/younger guy relationships don't) but it would have been fuckin fun.

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Anonymous

May 19, 2020 at 12:31am

As a narcissist I'm certain this is about me so if you're Sarah Silverman or that fiery Art History prof from the campus by the cliff HELL YES.
Better if you're both!
Otherwise, sorry no.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

May 19, 2020 at 2:50am

What makes you think he sees himself as beautiful inside or out, or that he saw himself as worthy? We all have such insecurities going against us. He faced his for you. You couldn't bring yourself to do the same for him. I won't even bother inquiring about what you said to all these mutual acquaintances that all got the same idea from you to deliver to him, but no doubt about it, you ghosted and by doing so you made sure that there would be no communication. You're a coward. You could have been worthy before if you had stepped up, but you certainly aren't now. You were a bad person, and probably still are to them since it's unlikely you ever went and apologized to them.

9 23Rating: -14

Anonymous

May 19, 2020 at 5:29am

You are assuming way to much from gs postings that may or may not be meant for you.
The mind can make situations seem very similar.
Or someone could be playing with u.
Some sick minds out there !!
Dont go into the past anymore, it will leave you sad and more confused.
There is really nothing there.
Stay focused and look to the "here and now " and what lies ahead.
Past is past.
Time on your hands is better spent thinking about what "you " want.
Whats your dreams ?

17 8Rating: +9

it can't rain forever

May 19, 2020 at 6:51am

Somewhere in the between life goes on.

17 6Rating: +11

Interesting

May 19, 2020 at 7:40am

@Anonymous - LoL! Thanks for the laugh. There was one time when we were at the campus and visited the room of a friend who was a student there, after spending the afternoon at the beach. The next time we met up he returned something that i hadn't realize i'd forgotten.

@Beauty
Interesting assumptions.
Ghosting involves disappearing w/o a word or explanation, right? Just gone? Nope, i didn't ghost him, but it sure seemed like he didn't want me in his life anymore (after having tried a few times to get together) so i obliged but i sent him a message first. No reply.
Also one of his many qualities was awareness, so yes he would have realized that he was beautiful inside & out. People wrote refs about what a great guy he was.... he didn't have one single bad ref. And what makes you think he "faced his insecurities" for me? He never told me how he felt or asked me out either.
And i didn't say anything to those mutual aquaintances for them to come to that assumption. One of them i told how i felt (well, i listed off all his great inner qualities) what she didn't tell me (until a couple years ago) was that she'd liked him too. I don't know if she was still in contact with him on a dif social media site all those years or if she told him that she was still connected to me on a certain site, but it seems likely she didn't.
And where do you get off calling someone who has been told repeatedly told that she's "ugly" and a "dog" that she's a coward and a bad person?? Compassion and empathy aren't your strong points obviously. Hopefully you're not a counsellor or therapist; your patients would be left feeling worse than before they saw you!

18 7Rating: +11

So many other things to do

May 19, 2020 at 8:54am

So many other things to read, literally millions of e-books out there for free to read and enjoy and learn.
Instead of rehashing the past.

14 8Rating: +6

Perhaps

May 19, 2020 at 11:42am

Something better could be done with one's time. Like a little education, physical fitness,calling your mom etc

12 6Rating: +6

@Beauty

May 19, 2020 at 12:25pm

WTF?
Just because they aren't still in each others life or shitty people told him lies doesn't mean she ghosted him! Lots of people go their different ways without ghosting ffs! And maybe she was called ugly on the reg. Maybe she started calling herself that. Some people can brush it off, but others are sensitive and it fucks them up and makes them think they don't deserve for people to be interested in them. It's not cowardice. It's called having a low self esteem or even self hatred. Some people even kill themselves.
And how would you know if he faced any insecurities for her? More assumptions. Obviously he never said anything to her either and they are another case of a missed chance.
OP ignore that clueless poster. Their response shows that they are just another one of the nasty assholes who gets off on shitting on people who deserve compassion.
Maybe you should try and see him in person.

@ Beauty

May 19, 2020 at 2:13pm

You woke up some of the sleeping beauties around here and now they're pissed. lol

17 9Rating: +8

OP

May 19, 2020 at 3:43pm

@Perhaps
Thanks for the suggestions. I am doing those things as well.

@So many
Funny that you say reHASHing. He was one of the few people who could keep up when binge~blazing.
Actually i read books everyday. The first time i ever saw an e-reader (and later on a smart phone) was his. The libraries only loan out a few at a time though, where are these free millions? (I have a kobo)

@@Beauty
Thank you for understanding!
I think he wouldn't want to see me though (or any woman from his past) because i think he's in a relationship. Though if he's still the same guy, he would probably be kind. He was one of the nicest people i ever met, not just to me but to all the others as well. And intelligent and funny! I miss the discussions.

15 5Rating: +10

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