I didn't want to do this

Our friendship is over. We were close for over 10 years, until my friend took up with a very mentally unwell person. This person, after months of trying to befriend me, began stalking me, and then hating me when I disengaged. One of my parents was dying and I couldn't deal with making a new friend. My other parent is mentally ill. I tried to look beyond it (I'm not the type of person to be offended if a person with a diagnosed mental illness hates me; they're sick and I know that). But I had to tell my friend I couldn't befriend their new partner. I am not a bad person. I just had NO idea how to build any kind of relationship with someone so ill. And now? I don't want to. I have cordial relationships with all of my friends' partners, and am close to some of them I've known for decades, but I could not handle making this new friend, just because it made MY friend feel better...Now my friend has completely turned against me. I put up with my friends rude comments, putdowns, I was honest but polite about my limitations, so they cut me off. I tried calling, texting, emailing...it's done. I don't know...I'm not young and have had other friendships peter out over the years but this one really makes me sad. Life goes on, I guess.

6 Comments

Post a Comment

Anonymous

Jun 27, 2020 at 11:31pm

As most people age more than a few take up impossible positions like your pal and then they have the excuse to act miserable.

Somehow their sick, old brain justifies it as "staying relevant" or something.

5 14Rating: -9

You're not disengaged

Jun 28, 2020 at 12:02am

You engage with them here. You always have. You crave the drama. You're the mentally ill one. You need therapy. Get help getting over them.

8 18Rating: -10

Fozzy B

Jun 28, 2020 at 1:06am

I feel for you, too many of us are put I this shitty situation. You're a true friend for being Honest.
Life does go on.
Peace.

12 4Rating: +8

Good

Jun 28, 2020 at 7:47am

You don't *have to* be friends with anyone, it's your call. It takes some courage to break away and cut your losses. Most of us are happy to help out our long term friends as needed, but that's different from maintaining a relationship that's draining you.

17 1Rating: +16

@you're not

Jun 28, 2020 at 8:12pm

There's always someone going to be childishly offended by someone else's life. Tag, you're it.

Not sure why the first response got so many downvotes. It might not be what's happening here, but it's not unheard of.

5 3Rating: +2

@ @you're not

Jun 30, 2020 at 1:14pm

Down votes may be due to the sweeping generalizations, that "Most people" lose their judgement as they age, as well as the "sick, old brains" comment.
Most of us actually become more sensible with time, with exceptions of course. E.G., my own older brain is well educated, well experienced and better able to make good decisions.

6 1Rating: +5

Join the Discussion

What's your name?