Anger

I feel sorry for people with anger issues. As a child I suffered most of my childhood because of my mom’s anger and abuse issues. But the gift I received from those experiences was my awareness to become the loving, forgiving, empathetic, understanding, incredibly awesome woman I am. So many people are walking around angry right now lasting years, decades, even a lifetime. Reconsider your relationship with anger and where it comes from... anger can be an emotion used in a healthy way.

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red flags

Jul 9, 2020 at 12:42pm

Often people become their parents the more the try to not be them. It is a standard greek tragedy that the more you can not escape your fates no matter how hard you directly try to change them.
You have the good and the bad of your parents in you. they're called genes.

7 7Rating: 0

But of course oh great one..

Jul 9, 2020 at 2:39pm

... and being the loving, forgiving, empathetic, understanding, incredibly awesome woman that you are, you're going to talk to this person that you're referring to in person, and impart your extensive wisdom on to them from your own childhood trauma, and apologize for for any of that trauma you may have projected and transferred on to them causing their anger in the first place. Remember to come back here an tell us all how it worked out.

12 4Rating: +8

@red flags

Jul 9, 2020 at 3:26pm

Not OP, but you're incorrect. There is this thing called "therapy," which helps people un-learn negative behaviour, change their coping mechanisms / strategies, and retrain their brains. Brains are plastic. It gets harder when you're older, but children from tempestuous backgrounds often seek out therapy in order to break the cycle of abuse. Not everyone becomes their parents; the tragedy is that *some* do, even if and when they know it's wrong.

People who use the whole, "Well, that's the way I was raised / it's in my genes, there's nothing I can do about it!" are the problem.

6 5Rating: +1

@ red flags

Jul 9, 2020 at 4:21pm

I'm always suspicious of anonymous posts that criticize the feelings of another. I'm also suspicious of a person that feels the need to proclaim the type of person that they are rather than just allow it to be self evident through their own behavior. When I see something like this I think "Okay, so your parent fucked you up and made you angry so you went and fucked up someone else up, and made them angry. Now you're hear trying to advise them of how they shouldn't be angry at you, but rather see the abuse, pain, and anger that you caused them as some sort of gift that they can use to convert into some beneficial energy for themselves." Sorry, but not empathetic, not understanding, and certainly not loving towards the person they hurt. Just a selfish act of trying to alleviate ones own guilty conscience while trying to convince themselves of being something that they're not.

7 6Rating: +1

I find I am very in tuned

Jul 9, 2020 at 8:03pm

To envioroment issues. The more I get kicked and robbed. The more people antaganize me the more negitive I'll get. The problem is my life sitution prevents me from fi ding space to get away. I'll sit down somewhere and start to try and think or clamly meditate and not more then a few minutes im being interupted and or annoyed.

3 4Rating: -1

unintentionally funny

Jul 9, 2020 at 10:20pm

This is delightfully hilarious. You think well of yourself, and that’s nice, but the hubris is, well, hilarious. “Hoo boy, you’ve hit the jackpot with me, I’m incredibly understanding while also feeling deep pity for you. Did I mention I’m awesome?”

12 5Rating: +7

Good luck with that

Jul 10, 2020 at 12:47am

As an old parent of a few children with a few grandchildren as well, I can say from experience that we’ve pretty much ALL been there. Thinking back on how we were raised, mistakes we made ourselves as parents (unintentionally of course), and all of those times that we were sure we had figured out all of the answers! I remember that awesome feeling so well, in my forties lol. Then my children grew up and had their own children, and were certain that they had definitely learned from all of the terrible things they experienced growing up and would be perfect parents, unlike their own of course. Just like I did. Just like most of us did. Eventually you learn that every parent is just a flawed human being, most of whom are doing their damndest to raise their children well. They will all make mistakes, because they’re all humans and that’s what we do. They’re a product of their own upbringing just like you all are. They’re a product of their times as well! Things that were commonplace and normal in their time aren’t necessarily okay now. That doesn’t make them monsters, it makes them normal humans. As we know better, we do better, right? So to any of you sanctimonious and “perfect” parents now, I assure you that your parents likely felt exactly the same way at some time. Trust me, your time will come where your own choices and behaviour will be up for vicious scrutiny by your own offspring at some point in the future. Gird your loins for battle younglings lol.

9 5Rating: +4

These comments weird me out

Jul 10, 2020 at 10:25am

So many people making light of trauma and abuse, one even questioning the validity of OP, implying that these confessions should only be trusted if they’re not about positive things people have changed in life?!Another actually asking when OP was going to confront abuser to ask for THEIR forgiveness, as if the abuse must have been their fault...? (Spoken like an abuser themselves, actually...) Another from a parent defending abuse as a “human flaw” ...?! OP did say “abuse” and “anger issues” here people, implying this isn’t your average “yelling at the kids to come down for dinner or for not folding laundry.” Abuse is abuse. My mother would beat the crap out of me while blackout drunk, after waking me up from sleep. Yeah sure, I should apologize to here for how I may have brought that on myself, or try to see things from her perspective?

Many of you appear to be delusional and potentially in need of therapy yourselves. Way to go OP, and best of luck on your continuing journey of healing! How these comments didn’t mess you up at all. They mostly seem to be spoken by people who had the privilege of a better childhood.

6 6Rating: 0

I tell the grandkids

Jul 10, 2020 at 6:20pm

that we all spend a lifetime getting over our parents. They laugh because they know their mother (my daughter) is likely trying to get over me. The good thing is we can break the cycle. We're all human and definitely not perfect. As long as we keep trying.

7 1Rating: +6

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