I burnt a bridge and I am ok with it.

My uncle is very wealthy. I followed his advice pursuing something and it led to the destruction of my finances for about 10 years. All he had to say after was "you make your own life decisions." I pointed out that his 30 year old son, who hasn't finished highschool and lives in one of his penthouses; who was once a drug dealer who needed Dad to bail him out of his drug dealing debts. I asked Uncle if his son made his own life decisions or if he had Daddy to bail him out and hold his hand through life? Uncle won't talk to me anymore. I agree with him when he said "we make our own life decisions" however, I also think we rely on accurate and reliable information to make those decisions. And I never want hear that from a man who doesn't practice it with his own son. Consider it a burnt bridge. Unfortunately, My uncle is my Dads favorite person in life. They didn't have a father growing up and Uncle was the eldest. I think in some type of psychological sense Uncle filled the role of father for my Dad. I now have very complicated family relationships. Uncle hates me for calling an apple an apple. Dad is 110% loyal to Uncle.

11 Comments

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Blame does not help

Jul 20, 2020 at 3:23pm

You only have you in this life. I don't mean this in a negative way.

9 6Rating: +3

You do

Jul 20, 2020 at 3:26pm

Make your own life decisions, and ultimately no one else is to blame but yourself. What did you want him so say?!? And bringing up his son was a dinky think to do... no relevance...

Wow

Jul 20, 2020 at 3:31pm

Your uncle wanted you to be accountable, instead you replied with insults. And now you’re the victim again...

Do you even have kids? Why are you telling your uncle how to be a dad?

Anonymous

Jul 20, 2020 at 3:48pm

Okay it's time for you to grow up. This isn't meant in any bad way. It's a very great thing, because finally you can now stand up to your uncle, his dead beat son, and your relatively weak father all at once.

All you have to do is be prepared to tell them all to fuck off. That you live your life, and it's got nothing to do with them, and your uncle is going to be soon dead anyway so it wont even go on for much longer. And as far as you're concerned that is good riddance.

16 8Rating: +8

Sorry but

Jul 20, 2020 at 4:47pm

Your uncle is right. Unless he held you down and forced you to do whatever it was he suggested, he’s not in any way responsible for the outcome. Life is full of those situations. As for what he does with his own son, myob.

12 9Rating: +3

Lovely L.

Jul 20, 2020 at 5:43pm

Dear O.P.
Repeat after me, “May the bridges I burn LIGHT MY WAAAAAAY .....”

Love ya
Take care

17 8Rating: +9

Op Re: Blame Does not Help

Jul 21, 2020 at 6:40am

I think you are right here. I've come to same conclusion that we only have ourselves here.
Is it so wrong, that while we pick up the pieces from a scenario gone bad that we decide we don't want to live in the financial shadow of someone as we feel mocked by their cheap words and morals? I don't think so. If I am going to do it alone - then I am going to do it alone. You know what I mean?

8 4Rating: +4

Free advice

Jul 22, 2020 at 10:02am

It’s ok to not tell people what you actually think about them. The ability to relish a private victory is a good one. People highly overrate honesty, particularly brutal honesty. You know uncle is a bad parent who promoted a shit opportunity to you. That’s who he is. But he’s also an uncle so you can’t get rid of him, you are stuck with him. Now it’s shittier. Did you win something?

7 5Rating: +2

Re:Free Advice

Jul 23, 2020 at 2:42pm

Thank you. This is the most insightful comment posted. You are right. 100% Right. However, I am so overly fustrated with feelings of betrayal with regards to the promoted shit opportunity and other gestures mixed in with this situation that I don't know how to handle or deal with said feelings and emotions. This is going to sound terrible, possibly evil but I feel he crossed a moral line and I want to take him down. The easiest way is mentally and through his son.

5 4Rating: +1

Wrong again

Jul 23, 2020 at 11:01pm

Nope, your plan does not make you right, and how your uncle is interacts with his son is none of your business, unless he’s abusing him. Actually you sound immature. Blaming him because he suggested something and you did it but it didn’t go as planned, is childish. Adults must be accountable for choices they make in life. I can’t imagine that your uncle deliberately mislead you in order to cheat you out of something. Perhaps he genuinely thought his suggestion was a good one. If you go through life refusing to be responsible for your own choices, you’re never going to mature.

4 3Rating: +1

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