Post-stalker effects

posted July 28th, 2020 at 5:39 AM

Unless you’ve been the target of a stalker, you probably wouldn’t realize how the experience affects you long-term. It’s been over 10 years since it last happened (at least that I’m aware of), but I’m still reluctant to be photographed, use online dating sites, work somewhere where I have to be publicly seen all the time, or even seek out work in the same industry as my stalker, even though I was a specialist in that industry myself. Chances are that they never think of me anymore, but the anxiety and severe stress that they put me through for years took its toll, and I’m not sure that it’s something I’ll ever really get past. There’s always this lingering fear that they’ll rear their ugly head in my life again, so I remain permanently on edge and vigilant. PTSD does that to a person.

15 Comments

You can get past it if you choose

Jul 28, 2020 at 10:14am

I've had bad stuff happen to me but I didn't up hating all men or being afraid all the time. I put it out of my mind. Focus on where I am NOW, not what was or what might be.

That makes a lot of sense, OP

Jul 28, 2020 at 11:50am

Sounds like your sense of safety went through quite an ordeal and i think it’s understandable that you would still be vigilant and on edge.

In addition to all you’ve described regarding the urge to duck and cover, I have also personally found that PTSD erodes the capacity to deal with stress because of all the high adrenaline memories stored in the body.

Wishing you safety and healing, in your own time.

Anonymous

Jul 28, 2020 at 11:52am

That's intense. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The people who tell you to " just get over it" really should get over themselves. Seriously.

@You can

Jul 28, 2020 at 11:58am

Who says I hate all men? You obviously don’t really understand PTSD, or you wouldn’t make the kind of “just get over it” statement that you did, which is very judgemental. You assume that your life experience and how you deal with it is the only way to live, or that what you experienced is somehow the same as what someone else has experienced. It’s an arrogant and insensitive attitude.

Suggest those who feel PTSD due to creep predators

Jul 28, 2020 at 12:15pm

Get involved in a positive Martial Arts. Not the macho type but the positive schools that builds mind, body, spirit and fair-minded community values.

Anonymous

Jul 28, 2020 at 2:43pm

Do they ever really leave. ?
Thats the big question!
Hard to believe your friend could be your stalker.
Odd World.
If people just had the forditude to communicate honestly.
Put the truth out there, no they hide behind catfish profiles.
Maybe they have a hump on their back and no tète.
Who Cares !!
Case closed for me.
Is there any honestly online ?

Yes ! With good martial arts training

Jul 28, 2020 at 3:08pm

even a small size boy or girl can knock a big bully into the middle of next week :-)

Been through it

Jul 28, 2020 at 3:29pm

I am a guy and had a similar experience with a girl stocking me...simple solutions court order and charges . The VPD will act. Life is quiet now

Tell us more!

Jul 28, 2020 at 3:52pm

Sorry to hear of your problems. I wonder why this person started stalking you? Was it someone you had a relationship with or just some random weirdo? I would be interested to hear more, maybe then people could offer advice.

I know how you feel

Jul 28, 2020 at 5:57pm

It's really scary esp meeting new people, work, social etc and feeling exposed in any way. meanwhile trying to function like nothings wrong. its exhausting. do what you need to feel safe. sometimes you have to move far away to find peace. good luck