There’s no guarantee

What do some people assume that if someone agrees to date you or have sex with you once or twice, that somehow they have a right to expect that that person somehow owes them something? I’ve had the experience where I was relentlessly pursued by a guy and finally agreed to try dating him, even though I had reservations, and made him well aware of them. After a very few dates I realized that he wasn’t for me, and I told him that right away to ensure that he could move on with someone else. Instead he lost his mind and stalked me. A couple of other guys automatically assumed that they had some type of ownership rights with me after we had sex. The same guys who had fervently agreed that there were no strings attached before the deed was done, and then went ballistic when they realized that I wasn’t interested in continuing to see them. There are no guarantees in dating. Other than being a decent person and treating the other person kindly and fairly, they don’t owe you a thing. Having sex between two consenting adults doesn’t mean that you own them or that they have to agree to keep doing it just because you might want to. I’m a straight woman so my own experience has been with men, but I know that men also experience this with some women. I look at dating as just a test drive so to speak. It’s not a relationship unless both people agree that it is. Get that through your heads people.


Post a Comment

Didn't need a crystal ball to see this coming

Jul 10, 2020 at 3:17pm

If someone is pursuing you relentlessly and you're not feeling it, why would you build up someone's hopes and put them through the emotional ringer by dating or sleeping with them?

Take better preemptive care with people's feelings next time if you want better outcomes.

YVR Blues

Jul 10, 2020 at 3:39pm

I'm so glad I've never had to date in this city.

15 5Rating: +10


Jul 10, 2020 at 3:46pm

A “ no “ is a no, to me. Maybe you were ambiguous. One guy friend told me this : he knows he has a chance with the girl if she will step out of the house to see him. Even if she didn’t have any interest in the beginning.
He thinks as long as the girl will come out, his chances of changing her mind is higher.

5 16Rating: -11


Jul 10, 2020 at 4:21pm

You definitely need to stop having sex with people who are super into you. Most people will agree to it hoping you'll change your mind (because sex often does change feelings) and then they're getting all sad when it doesn't. So maybe try going for people who aren't super into you.


Jul 10, 2020 at 4:40pm

eventually it all works out.
the women leading on the guys eventually get the one they want.
then they get married, pop out kid(s).
the guys who were hurt build up resentment and stop pursuing women.
win win?


Jul 10, 2020 at 4:43pm

Since you don’t know anything about the situation or about me, you’ll have to take my word for it that you’re wrong about your assumption. Obviously you’re one of those people who use the old “you led me on” excuse to assume that going out with someone a couple of times means that they owe you something. Like I said, there’s no guarantees. If you date someone or sleep with them and they decide that it’s just not going to work out, just get over it! They owe you nothing!

17 7Rating: +10


Jul 10, 2020 at 4:49pm

So how many test drives are you taking ?
I dont wanna judge,
but the old saying, Real old now. Lol
Why would they buy the beautiful cow when they are getting the"yummy milk" for free.
But too each its own .
Wear a condom at least , maybe some spermicide foam downtown, a mask, visor helmet , two gloves .. This is sounding sexy huh..
Damn you sure about this testing drive thing..
Sounds like work getting all dressing up for some safe lovens.

Joe Public

Jul 10, 2020 at 5:20pm

I've been on the other side of something...similar.
Sometimes a guy develops feelings for a woman, expresses them and she USES it to stroke her ego or manipulate his behavior when it suits her. When he misinterprets the manipulation as reciprocated interest she cuts him off, and then complains about how guys assume they "have a right to expect that that person somehow owes them something"
Anyway, I did expect something.
I expected to be treated with the level of respect I had for them.
And I wasn't.
And it was such a painful shock to the system it took some time to get over them.
Like 10 years.
Silver lining, she's fat now.

I've had

Jul 10, 2020 at 5:43pm

Women harassing me, and even make false accusations against me in the same situations.

18 6Rating: +12

Don't be promiscuous

Jul 10, 2020 at 6:02pm

This is why it's better to abstain from sex until you're married. Sex is an emotional bonding experience that shouldn't be taken lightly or casually. If you have reservations about someone don't agree to any dates or lead them into thinking that they have any kind of chance at a relationship with you. Move on to the next without taking any emotional or financial advantage of them, putting your ego, jealousy, and greed aside. Especially if you're already in a relationship, you have no business poking your nose into another persons field regardless of whether or not you know they like you. Leave your relationship first, or leave them to move on.

Join the Discussion

What's your name?