I feel like an idiot

I confess: I’m a sucker for people I love. I’m generous with whatever I have, and I don’t have much. But I’m doing a slow burn right now as I’m doing without luxuries like vacations, new clothes, stuff for my place, while watching the people who owe me a bunch of money carry on like they’ve not a care in the world. I loaned these people money in good faith, with their promises to pay me back quickly. They’ve both got way more income coming in than I do, plus they’ve been eligible for rent reductions and other covid related financial arrangements. So apparently they now feel free to spend the money they’re not spending on rent and car payments, etc, on extras for themselves, completely ignoring the fact that they’re supposed to be paying me back! So yeah, I feel like an idiot for being stupid enough to trust that they would respect me enough to pay me back before they spend on luxuries that they don’t need. Lesson has finally been thoroughly absorbed now though. The bank of “me” is officially closed. I don’t care how dire your situation is from now on; you’ve shown your true colours and I won’t be fooled again.

16 Comments

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Aug 2, 2020 at 8:23am

Never lend anything to anyone but the most uptight person, people that can't let the feeling of the debt stop picking at them. Otherwise you have to accept when you hand off your possession to them you will never see it again. Put up a personal limit of maybe $100, I'd do one days labour for a friend per lifetime.

9 2Rating: +7

Have You

Aug 2, 2020 at 9:07am

Confronted them about this? If not,it's on you.
And if so and you get excuses- small claims court.

14 3Rating: +11

This is why I don't lend

Aug 2, 2020 at 9:51am

I'll give what I can afford to give. I won't spare anything I can't afford to lose. I don't want or need anything in return. I will not ever lend. This way, I'll never have to feel the urge to break your legs or not ever speak to you again.

6 3Rating: +3

Luna Lake

Aug 2, 2020 at 10:16am

happens to me and my BF all the time. people are cruel irresponsible sadistic and have no heart. This is how they get ahead in life. This is what society rewards. Tell them you are curious to hear what their excuse is. Tell them you know enough to never help them out again but out of sheer curiosity you would like to record them explain themselves on your podcast

5 5Rating: 0

Judge Judy

Aug 2, 2020 at 10:37am

These ppl aren’t friends. Take them to court ASAP.

5 2Rating: +3

Anonymous

Aug 2, 2020 at 10:59am

Once a sucker always a sucker, everyone says about you.

3 6Rating: -3

J. Judy

Aug 2, 2020 at 1:02pm

Sue them. Make sure you have sufficient evidence

4 4Rating: 0

Yep

Aug 2, 2020 at 1:26pm

I think these past 4 months (4 years? decade? lifetime?) have been a good lesson in who deserves your gold and who can just fuck off.

13 2Rating: +11

payback

Aug 2, 2020 at 1:33pm

Please ask/remind them. Offer to help set up a payment plan if you can afford to
wait, but be persistent: “I loaned you x amount on x date and I need it back now.” Hear out their lame excuses if they have them: let them finish whatever they have to say and don’t interrupt them, then wait a beat and repeat “I need it back/I can take it in instalments (if you can but really those people just need to pay what they owe, try not to give them too many options to screw you over again). Repeat. Repeat. Try not to get visibly angry. There is nothing scarier than cold and confident determination. And if you ever are asked again, by anyone, get it in writing and get it witnessed. Make it a complete hassle for someone to borrow money from you, that way they will know you don’t f**k around.

16 2Rating: +14

Rule

Aug 2, 2020 at 3:47pm

Never lend what you can't afford to lose.

7 2Rating: +5

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