It hurts to look

I can barely stand to go outside anymore. All I see is families, couples, friends. Everyone enjoying life and participating in some sort of community. And then there is lonely me, wandering around, wishing I was part of things but feeling so isolated. Just one word, one laugh, one touch, would mean the world and bring me back to life. It seems so simple, but it is so far away. I'm tired of being a loner, but life as a loner has made me incapable of breaking through the invisible wall.

7 Comments

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That’s awful

Aug 9, 2020 at 6:45pm

My only wish is to have some times to myself

4 2Rating: +2

You are part of things silly rabbit

Aug 9, 2020 at 8:34pm

Get down to the water and hear what the little fishes say

2 8Rating: -6

Me too

Aug 9, 2020 at 10:44pm

It hurts to look at all the idiots not social distancing, not wearing masks, thinking they're different, that they're immune. And that's enough for me to say "it's okay, lonely only for now but alive and healthy with no chronic debilitating conditions later, and comfort in knowing I didn't risk the health and lives of people I care about."
Let that wash through you.

13 4Rating: +9

It's also really easy to pass the buck

Aug 10, 2020 at 2:14am

Firstly: maybe you're not one of these people, but if you do have absolutely anyone else in your life - some person from school or work or in our family who you had one iota of connection with - reach out to THEM instead of waiting for them to do that to you.

I had so many friends during quarantine bemoan the fact that no-one reached out to them, and I was all, FOR REAL?! You never reached out to ANYONE!

Secondly: no one else is ever going to be your saviour. There is no white horse, there is no prince or princess who is going to scoop you up and make you feel whole - - put on your Big Pants and realize that that prince or princess is YOU. YOU *get* to be the saviour of your life by picking up the pieces of it and riding off into the sunset with what-and-whom-ever you decide.

Don't leave the Big Decisions in your life to be made by OTHERS. You know you have shit to do; so go find them. Go do them. Some of the most important shit in life is accomplished ALONE, and you've been given a F*CKEN GIFT by being alone right now.

Ride off into your own sunset, and whomever is lucky enough to come along *will*.

8 7Rating: +1

automaton

Aug 11, 2020 at 1:49am

When you change yourself, you change the world. It may sound cliche, but be the change.

6 3Rating: +3

Me too

Aug 15, 2020 at 11:58pm

It hurts to look at all the idiots not social distancing, not wearing masks, thinking they're different, that they're immune. And that's enough for me to say "it's okay, lonely only for now but alive and healthy with no chronic debilitating conditions later, and comfort in knowing I didn't risk the health and lives of people I care about."
Let that wash through you.

1 0Rating: +1

hey

Aug 17, 2020 at 3:12am

hey, just one thing will bring you back to life. Great, that means you're not completely numb and if you put in the effort that one thing will come to you. Keep at it, these are strange times but appreciate the depth of what you feel.

0 0Rating: 0

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