What would you do if you were faced with a serious surgery? I have struggled with a great deal of adversity since I was a child, with illness (thanks for the terrible genes, abuse etc.) and tried to always operate from a place of kindness and empathy only to be screwed over. My health issues are very complex and resulted in significant pain, loss, grief, and a loss of autonomy despite my trying everything under the sun to no avail and countless specialists. You quickly realize the people that are truly there for you when you're chronically ill and most people don't care.... I've always wondered why some people suffer so much and throughout their lives while terrible people don't.... Far too many good, kind people in the same boat as me that deserve so much better and want so little. Just to be healthy to work, be active, and have normalcy. One thing that's been hard is not being touched. I don't mean sexually, but just held, and feeling safe in someone's arms. I've given up on meeting someone as good men are few and far between, let alone one that would be with someone so sick although you couldn't tell from looking at me. I read this study about how men leave women at a rate seven times higher with a partner with illness yet women stay through thick and thin..... Yet, I still wish I had someone to laugh with, and do regular things with, but it can't happen..... It's been several years now. I had friends try to encourage me to date, but due to sexual abuse and PTSD, I have difficulty trusting men, and have been hurt too much. So, what would you do? I'm in the high risk group and have to stay home usually, and my symptoms while awaiting surgery are very difficult where I'm very fatigued. I don't know what to do... Please be kind I'm struggling with this surgery as is and appreciate advice. Thanks.