Shudder

That’s my reaction when some guy I’ve never met greets me with “sweetheart”, “doll”, “honey”, or any other similar word. You’d be the last guy on earth I’d ever go out with. And before that guy who always comments that if the guy was 6’3” and hot I wouldn’t mind jumps in with his same old drivel, I’m going to ask you to please shut up because it’s obvious that you don’t have a clue about women and what we want.

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I was...

Aug 10, 2020 at 1:29pm

... in a hospital lately, and some nurse called me "love." Dear, love, honey, sweetie, my mom calls me sweetie, I don't think she wants to take me out. Maybe if you are tightly wound, every expression of affection is hypersexualized, even if it is not sexual/dating oriented?

I think I would be more likely, if it were socially acceptable (I know there are tightly wound women like you out there) to use sweetheart more in the sense of "look, sweetheart, that'll happen in a pig's eye," wouldn't mean I want to date you. Same for doll, honey, etc.

The first thing to realize about women is that while many do share many traits, women are not a monolith. Some want one thing, some want another.

I mean, I can't say I have been pursued many times, but I once went to a different Church, and this woman who said she was a tourist from Colorado was all over me---after I spurned her advances, she even came back to settle for "taking a picture" with me. "oh wow, you are tall." It was sort of fun. I should have taken her to lunch ;). I don't think this happens to every woman multiple times a day, and even if it happened to me twice in a day, I wouldn't be offended or "exhausted." But I am over 6'3, so I am used to putting in a hard day's work just to stand up straight ;)

Yeah sure

Aug 10, 2020 at 2:10pm

Whatever you say, sugar rump.

That’s how I talk

Aug 10, 2020 at 2:24pm

It’s very liberating to be able to speak and think freely and meet a partner who thinks alike

Come on babe

Aug 10, 2020 at 2:29pm

Be a doll and tell us what you want, what you really really want.
Dont keep us all in suspense.

Darla McWin

Aug 10, 2020 at 3:10pm

You're *a* woman - not 'women', so it might be wise to quiet down and let other women be the woman they want to be. Give them some agency. Stop lumping them in with what you're like.
It's astonishing how many people claim to speak for an entire group and indicative of how colonialism got started. You know that ridiculous and ugly, 'they're all alike' thing...
TRUTH: You don't know what *women* want. What level of entitlement gives you the idea that you do know?
You might *think* you know what *you* want, but according to most psychological studies, if you're a human being, even that's a dicey proposition.

I agree...

Aug 10, 2020 at 3:28pm

you have to be told what you should want by some celebrity or fashion magazine.

Yuri Stericle

Aug 10, 2020 at 3:35pm

There’s a good Sam Kinison bit on what women want...

9 10Rating: -1

Allo luv

Aug 10, 2020 at 3:43pm

Obviously you're so easily triggered by male attention, I hope that in the future, this sort of thing never happens to you again.

@OP

Aug 10, 2020 at 5:16pm

Well I am a very fit, 6'2 guy who happens to be very good looking. And it's shocking at how many women come up to me in a pub, or club, or even sitting on a bench on the seawall- all handsy, wanting a selfie, asking to see my abs etc.
And if I wanted to,I know darn well I can get away with things that ordinary guys would get slapped or shouted at for.

17 9Rating: +8

Ffs

Aug 10, 2020 at 5:22pm

Clearly the commenters are exactly the type of person I’m talking about. The key words you’re apparently neglecting to notice in my post are “some guy I’ve never met”. As for the guy trying (in vain) to equate this type of behaviour with women in a caregiver capacity such as a hospital calling him honey, obviously that’s a big reach. You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s typical of men who haven’t caught on that we’re not in the middle of the last century anymore, and that addressing women like this is extremely patronizing, demeaning, and sexist. Completely unacceptable.

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