Am I a creep?

I don't dress the best or the worst... but somehow, I get the feeling that I do not fit in anywhere. It may have something to do with my appearance. I tan dark olive and people always think I am from somewhere else (I really hope this isn't the reason)... but I've noticed, all throughout my life, people do not trust my face for whatever reason. I am not super attractive, but I think I'm alright to be honest. I was bouldering (which is just climbing without much height and on mats) and I asked a woman if I could do laps between her set of laps, as people just sit idly when they are resting between sets. I tried to be as polite as possible, and kept at least 4 meters between us. Oddly enough, I saw no earbuds or anything and I was completely ignored. Not even a no or a head-shake. Since we were wearing masks, I eventually said "Sorry to bother you.... but I don't know if you can hear me. Is it okay if I can do laps here?". Still no response... and due to Covid, I certainly didn't want to get closer. This was already really strange. I don't see why I would want to walk any closer. I was just getting a bad vibe. I am losing hope in this society (or maybe just Vancouver). One cannot even be as polite as possible without being labelled a weirdo or a creep in Vancouver... and no, it's not the sort of jock-gym where people are hitting on each other. We're pretty LGBT+ friendly and so on in there. So, I really have no idea what the deal is unless she is deaf or I have the most untrusting face, ever... even so, should less attractive people get treated like they do not even have a right to exist?

13 Comments

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2 weeks ago

Sep 15, 2020 at 3:21pm

It’s rare but I was at the bus stop. Same thing, I kept asking this guy if this bus is going to turn right. Asked about 3 times and ignored me. He caught me finally and he took his mask off and motioned he was deaf and mouthed sorry. We hand gestured each other the answer! You never know...

23 2Rating: +21

Not you

Sep 15, 2020 at 3:34pm

Who knows what her deal was. She could have been in some deep meditative state over her favorite soap opera. It's not really worth speculating about. Bottom line is, you know that if you were in her position you would have given a polite response whether it be a yes or a no.

23 3Rating: +20

Same Thing

Sep 15, 2020 at 5:14pm

In pubs,clubs, outings etc. Unless you're in the top 10% you're invisible and better get used to it.

Anonymous

Sep 15, 2020 at 6:32pm

Lol that happens to me all the time. Men, women, gender non-comforming, dressed up/down, ignored. I'm seen when people need something from me but not the other way around. There's so many possible reasons for it, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and keep moving forward.

12 2Rating: +10

Don’t Assume

Sep 15, 2020 at 6:50pm

She very likely couldn’t hear you. I can’t hear the grocery clerk right in front of me with masks on and I’m young so not much hearing loss yet. It’s not you. I’m sure you asked politely and in a tone you were certain was audible but everyone hears differently. As for being ignored because of your appearance, I can’t imagine that would be a reason to ignore a person who’s asking a simple question.

19 9Rating: +10

@Don't assume

Sep 15, 2020 at 8:50pm

Sometimes it is obvious if someone can hear you.

9 0Rating: +9

Anonymous

Sep 15, 2020 at 9:08pm

I'm what you might call a good looking bastard which means my face rarely causes me much trouble, but one thing I have learned in life is to care less and less what everyone else thinks.

I like you do try to be polite when I can, but the second I meet ignorance the polite can be instantly dropped if I feel like it. For example just the other day I called out this moronic yuppie woman who stood right in the middle of the doorway in her quest for driving her husband to an early grave, lol

Please don't give too much away to strangers. Many of them are ignorant and cannot or will not respect you back. You don't have to be like me(rude) because its not natural to you( I was born a rebel) but you can stop worrying and fretting over yourself.

And as far as flat out looks go, I know more than one dude who might have been considered ugly but with a personality to spare the person makes himself attractive. Looks aren't everything.

14 3Rating: +11

Yeah...

Sep 15, 2020 at 9:15pm

...people can't hear me on a regular basis, BEFORE we all had to wear masks. I don't think it's normal to just outright ignore you, even if she thought you were hitting on her you would have gotten some reaction. Lost in thought or can't hear you. I have to 'yell' in my head and sometimes ppl still can't hear me, so...try louder next time?

4 3Rating: +1

I’m sorry that happened to you!

Sep 16, 2020 at 8:14am

I can imagine that is very frustrating.

I think you sound like a kind person and I really hope you have a great day!

9 0Rating: +9

a whyt place for whyt people

Sep 16, 2020 at 9:45am

BIPOC to ‘bipoc passing’:

The answer you are seeking is in the first couple sentences of your paragraph: you are olive skinned a.k.a. you are not white a.k.a. you don’t fit in here.
sure you can tell people you’re white or that your roots are merely Canadian but because you have a different looking face and the colour of your skin is darker than theirs -you are being judged; whether you would like to admit it or not.

have you ever noticed how white people in crowded places can always make friends out of strangers, but those strangers always happen to be white. welcome to Vancouver a beautiful city for hiking activities the ocean- for whites! (sorry did i forgot to mention that).

as a BIPOC it has become MORE than obvious that this place has a problem with people of colour. we are either fetishized and held on high OR tokenized and judged.

Specifically in reference to your generousity: Because the city is secretly yet not so secretly racist, they look at you as a threat/an enemy and your generosity is only seen as some measure to trick them or draw them in. because the city is secretly yet not so secretly racist, they look at you as a threat/an enemy and your generosity is only seen as some measure to trick them or draw them in. Apparently being nice for the sake of it is also ONLY a white activity.

A beautiful place to die- Vancouver. Not so easy to fit in when our skin is slightly darker but the truth shall set you free.

9 20Rating: -11

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