Ambrosia

I would love to come home to you. Give you a long slow and firm hug. Heat up some soup and I'll put the tea on. Tell me about your day and then we'll go through the mail. I'll pull the sheets out of the dryer and we'll make the bed together. Hop into the shower and I'll slyly sneak in and scrub your back, wash your hair and wrap you in a fresh hot towel. Let's bundle ourselves up in each other and watch the latest show we're watching or better yet, read out loud to each other. It could be so easy. So why isn't it? Because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. What if we waste each other's time. What if we make each other miserable? Or worse yet, what if only one of us is in love? And who is right to love? Who can I allow? Who can withstand the monstrosity of whatever disfunction I possibly possess? Can we rely on each other? I doubt it. I doubt it all. What will it take to believe such a thing is possible. What did it take for any of you to be willing to take that step?

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You can never know

Sep 20, 2020 at 4:42am

No relationships come with a guarantee, and no matter what happens, it's not a waste of time because you will be richer for the experience regardless of how long it lasts. Life is about learning and growing as much as it is about living . But you're bound to do better when both people communicate, are honest with each other, are accountable and take ownership, and show integrity and respect. Most of all, when they're willing to try. To do the work, to follow through, to work together, to compromise with fairness in mind and to stick it out when the going gets tough.
And regarding your dysfunction, what are you doing to address this? Are you seeking help, therapy or counseling? Are you reading up on ways of betterment? Are you willing to talk about this with the aim of trying to overcome limitations, and plans of action to form new habits so your dysfunction doesn't rule your relationship, or are you going to yield to it as a convenient excuse to behave unfairly and to justify selfishness? I'm not saying you are. I'm just asking whether you are willing to do real legwork and are willing to communicate as well as follow through with concrete lasting actions and efforts.
The way you'll know whether your doubts are valid is to have this conversation and see whether they dig deep on these points with you and are willing to explore and discuss solutions and structures to have a healthy relationship or whether they gloss over with vague assurances like " well work it out as we go, we'll take it as it comes", which is a red flag. Consult professionals to see what's valid and reasonable, and what's fair to ask for and expect from both of you. You do it with cars, you fo it if your pet has a problem, why not you and your relationship?
But here's a guarantee: nothing will happen if you don't at least try, starting with talking to them. No trying = guaranteed failure. If you're both wanting to talk about things like this, you're in a good direction. Their willingness to "go there", that's how you know.
The question here is this: what about them? What their needs? What about their fears, their doubts? What assurances are you able to deliver, or is it okay only as long as your needs are met? Are you able to make it a true team effort or are these fears because you don't trust yourself to deliver?
Are you willing to share a relationship? Are you willing to talk to find

13 3Rating: +10

You would give much

Sep 20, 2020 at 4:45am

yet demand payment with such firm questions. You come as a colossus swaggering to fulfill..what?

4 9Rating: -5

It all sounded great until

Sep 20, 2020 at 8:18am

“Because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice.”

I don’t know your situation, so take this comment with a grain of salt. But if you have to ask yourself whether the choice is right, chances are it’s not.

9 4Rating: +5

I loved

Sep 20, 2020 at 12:52pm

reading the picture you painted at the beginning. To help make wise choices, it's best to know the other person for quite awhile and in a variety of different situations. Trust comes with time for them to slowly show you who they are. A certain future is never guaranteed but I do know lots of happy couples. Easier to approach life being relaxed, with a sense of humor and your eyes open.

11 2Rating: +9

Beautifully written

Sep 20, 2020 at 1:32pm

Now to wait for the actual helpful/instructful replies, as opposed to the negative-minded responses that just hurl hurtful bile & shit.
I upvoted.

(i missed out on a wicked fling because of low self esteem, try not to do that)

10 2Rating: +8

inthesameboat

Sep 20, 2020 at 7:04pm

Id take a chance-
I know that if I did see my othor ...its been years.
That we couldnt "just be " friends.

I would want to be more...

5 1Rating: +4

Dear Disney..

Sep 20, 2020 at 8:08pm

When you come to the conclusion that it's not about if they'll take that chance or if they'll love you and let you make mistakes and be reliable.

Love yourself and be someone they can rely on if they fuck up. If they can grow and not feel like they need to be anything but themselves around you, then you're amazing.. I'd love you without conditions.. I'd feel safe, but you're laying out a lot of stipulation and already negative assumptions.. so my advice.. swim deep.. very deep.. as deep as you can, then deeper. One less hypocrite.

5 4Rating: +1

@Dear Disney

Sep 21, 2020 at 7:37am

Uour advice seemed great at first, but the last part where you write about swimming really, really deep and end it with "One less hypocrite" sounds like you're telling them to drown themself.

4 2Rating: +2

Anonymous

Sep 21, 2020 at 7:44am

Im going to gave to call hogwash on your probing confession.
You sound weak !
Done with weak , insecure people.
Life is just too short for uncertainty in people.
Its all about laughter and adventure.
The heart is pretty strong, takes a licken and keeps on ticken..lol
You cant handle that then
be gone !!
Its the what if's that will keep you up at night wondering, years from now apparently from your confession.
You"ll be thinking
"Maybe I should have taken that chance "
Weak man weak !

5 9Rating: -4

@Anonymous

Sep 21, 2020 at 1:14pm

People like you make me want to run screaming in the opposite direction. They’re so terrified of being vulnerable that they mask it in non-stop “adventure” and “I’m so positive” rants, so that they don’t have to just be quietly alone with their own thoughts even for a minute. Strength has absolutely nothing to do with what you describe. Acknowledging that you’re a vulnerable human just like the rest of us, but that you’re still willing to put yourself out there for love, is where real strength lies.

8 1Rating: +7

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