Can't stop trying to keep up

I actually hate this about myself. Certain things make me completely inadequate as an adult. I don't want to go into detail. I just feel like the loser teenager I've been feeling like, oh 30 years now. I don't think I'm trying to keep up with the Joneses. But maybe I am? All I know is it doesn't take much for someone like me to feel like I've failed.

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Anonymous

Sep 14, 2020 at 9:37pm

I love optimal slaves like you keeping the wheels turning, so I don't have to. It gives me the opportunity to lead an interesting and authentic life while knowing things will keep on buzzing along. Cheers, pal. I'd give you hug if I could. Don't go changing.

Majority

Sep 14, 2020 at 10:02pm

The majority of people feel this way, I think. Life is indeed a competition for everything: grades, mates, jobs, housing, pay raises, instagram pics, retirement lifestyle....

11 4Rating: +7

Totally understandable feeling

Sep 15, 2020 at 1:20pm

Based on the way the world is set up at the moment, I think we are wired more than ever to compare ourselves to others, even if we know that this is a fruitless practice and we're not consciously trying to. To quote Depeche Mode, "It's a competitive world – everything counts in large amounts."

That said, I think awesome things can happen when we stop seeing life as a race with others, create our own definitions of success and start determining what we want and why. Feeling like a failure, though shitty, can be the catalyst to do all of the above.

Speaking as someone who has historically felt like a failure and could very much be deemed a failure by society's standards (middle age with no property, no partner, no kids, no financial wealth) I've found it helpful to have some hobbies and practices that I enjoy privately, do not share with others on social media, get me into a feel-good flow state, and remind me that I am empowered in the ways that I choose to be.

You're not alone. Here's to becoming the best versions of ourselves, for ourselves.

16 1Rating: +15

Yes op,

Sep 15, 2020 at 2:29pm

Talking/boasting to self is an interesting and authentic life ;) You know what they say, "Those who can't..."

9 7Rating: +2

Op

Sep 15, 2020 at 7:45pm

Thank you for your kind responses. Glad to know I'm not alone.

7 1Rating: +6

This is amazing life advice

Sep 15, 2020 at 9:56pm

“I've found it helpful to have some hobbies and practices that I enjoy privately, do not share with others on social media, get me into a feel-good flow state, and remind me that I am empowered in the ways that I choose to be.”

1 1Rating: 0

I know. Easier said than done.

Sep 15, 2020 at 10:12pm

You just need to find your passion and go after it. Maybe take up blacksmithing, or basket weaving. Something that will get you by in a post apocalyptic stone age society. Think long term.

4 1Rating: +3

Jeepers

Sep 17, 2020 at 11:53pm

it takes me 4 darn days to get back to ya and by then I can't remember what I was going to say!

0 0Rating: 0

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