My life has been in a downward spiral for some time now. I have coped with multiple medical problems, lost a career and my financial future as a result, been in an emotionally abusive on and off relationship that has drastically affected my feelings of confidence and self esteem, and I’ve just generally looked (from the outside) as though I’m a complete mess. I’ve withdrawn from most people and have experienced depression, that’s true. However, those issues have been just steps along my path. I’m on an inner journey that no one can see. I’ve always had this internal faith that somehow I will be okay. I’ll land on my feet once again. I’ve turned inward because the outside world kept hurting me and I needed to step away from it in order to regain some sense of who I am now, and stop comparing myself to who I was before life broke me so badly. But those people who choose to sit in judgement of me without having the benefit of knowing my internal story, keep insisting that I need to do what they think I should do. That somehow me panicking, being afraid, and running around frenetically will make everything all better. But if they could see inside my head they’d see not only the despair, but my inner calmness about it as well. The steps I’m taking may not be obvious to anyone else who can only view them from the outside, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not taking them. It’s just that when you’re teetering on the edge of a volcano, you need to take very cautious steps to avoid falling into the inferno. So I’d just like those people who are annoyed watching me not “doing” anything to either stop looking or talk to me about what’s really going on and why. I’d appreciate some of the support and trust that I’ve so freely offered to them for their whole lives. Telling me how to do it your way is entirely unhelpful and actually makes things more difficult and confusing to someone who is doing their utmost to keep their head above the water line and out of the inferno. Right now I’m still swimming even though at times I’m just treading water. I’m very good at it you see. I’ve had a lifetime of saving myself and I don’t intend to stop now.