I'm gonna die alone

I have standards. I'm not attracted to over weight women. I have tried it, thinking maybe I can find an attraction to a good person who is overweight, and her looks wont matter. It just ends up being me in my 30's playing house with a women like I did in kindergarten, pretend to be in a relationship with a girl. So I must look like a judgemental ass hole. That's fine. Believe what you believe, judge me as you will. My problem starts when I do get attention from the kind of woman I'm interested in. As soon as they message me and say hi or ask me questions or whatever, I start to think "she's out of my league" or " I dont deserve her". So I think I'm better than the women who are in to me (for lack of better words), but I think I'm not good enough for the women I am interested in. My biggest fear in life is dying alone, but that seems exactly what I am headed for, and there doesnt seem to be anything I can do about it.

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"Out of my league"

Sep 22, 2020 at 10:37pm

Always let the other person be the judge of that. Just like you, they also decide who is in their league and who isn't. None of us have the right to make up another person's mind for them. Everyone has their own tastes. If you fall into theirs then who are you to say their tastes are wrong for them? Respect.

31 2Rating: +29

What’s overweight?

Sep 22, 2020 at 11:52pm

Our society has become truly scary when it comes to deciding what overweight means. If you look at the women in popular tv shows and in movies, the majority of them look like they eat an apple a day and nothing else. It’s extremely unhealthy, and it puts an enormous pressure on females to be so thin that they’re actually sick. “Ideal” weights for women are constantly changing , which makes it even harder. Then you add the newest requirement for women to somehow be extremely thin, but also extremely fit with abs and a big butt. Throw in the requirement to have zero body hair but amazing hair on their head, a beautiful face, perfect manicure and pedicure, perky boobs, a great wardrobe, a good job, and it’s a wonder that these same women have the time or energy for anything else. I’m not blaming you because you can’t pick what you’re attracted to. You’re just another brainwashed male who’s been programmed by modern media to believe that only thin bodies are attractive. I feel sorry for all of us.

We All

Sep 23, 2020 at 12:01am

Die alone anyways. As well there's a 60% chance any marriage and 80% common law relationships will break up, so keep that chance in mind.
But don't worry about made to feel guilty about having standards, women are allowed to have standards and "not settle". But when men do we are guilted into feeling thankful for any female attention, or are "not the kind of man any woman would date anyways".
You see that last phrase on here all the time

And when I do

Sep 23, 2020 at 12:04am

I just hope someone nice finds me and forgives the abysmally awful state of my room. It's hard to face up to the squalor yer life's been reduced to when you can't see in the bathroom mirror for the coat of grime. Stay tuned- more greasy details to follow...

9 9Rating: 0

@And when I do

Sep 23, 2020 at 12:50am

Here, let me clean your room for you. You can fix my computer or whatever it is you do. Tradesies.

Not sure how I turned into a clean freak but it happened slowly over time. This means that you might change some things about yourself too.

11 4Rating: +7

mojita

Sep 23, 2020 at 7:30am

Dude, get some therapy.

9 2Rating: +7

We all have choices

Sep 23, 2020 at 8:21am

If you choose to believe that you can’t change what you don’t like about yourself-then you will continue on with the status quo. If you decide to change what you don’t like about yourself then you might actually grow as a person and eventually be stable enough for a long term relationship. It’s your choice, it’s your life.

4 0Rating: +4

Everyone stop with the advise!

Sep 23, 2020 at 9:41am

He is giving himself the life he expects and deserves.

7 6Rating: +1

Well...

Sep 23, 2020 at 10:18am

Cue the angry responses but....I'm a woman, I keep myself in reasonably good shape, and I figure it's fair to expect a romantic interest who's the same. (A "Dad bod" is fine with me, BTW.) So if you're not overweight, it's fair enough to seek a mate who's in the same category as you.

The dating world is a tough place, and online is the worst as it's like a shopping market, highly addictive, and we can be rejected or ignored by people who might find us attractive if they were to meet us in the real world without that "shopping market" mentality that the next person might be a better catch. Sounds to me like perhaps you've been hurt by that, or by a fear that you're not good enough.

Don't settle for someone you're not interested in; that will be soul-crushing for both of you.

If someone contacts you or responds, it's because they're interested. Be brave and see where it might lead. Cheers.

6 2Rating: +4

@ What's Obesity

Sep 23, 2020 at 10:57am

Requirements?
Obesity is a thing that you can easily control with diet and exercise.
What about requirements for men to be over 6 feet tall? Chiseled jaw. Six pack abs. The prefect hair do. Financially successful. Home owner. Investment package. A degree or two. Perfectly socially adept, saying just the right things at all the right times. The right car. Successful with the ladies. Give our lives and sacrifice ourselves to keep women happy.
Etc etc.
Stop portraying that women have it so tough, go read up on Norah Vincent's "Self Made Man. She lived as a man for 18 months, and stated that in no way would she give up the privileges of being a woman in modern society.

4 17Rating: -13

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