why so critical?

whenever i relax and just "chat" my husband has to pick up on something i say wrong. i'm not perfect, i may get a name wrong, pronounce it incorrectly or get a number or date wrong and he just POUNCES. "you're wrong!" like it's some kind of badge of honour for him. i don't love him as much as i could because of this very trait he has. so there. ahole.

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Imminent breakup

Sep 17, 2020 at 2:18pm

He's doing this because he wants out but doesn't want to be the initiator. By being passively and continously unpleasant, you'll eventually explode and initiate ending the relationship. He gets what he wants and you get the blame for suggesting it, so he doesn't have to be accountable.
You're calling him an a-hole shows your contempt for him is preferred to initiating exploration of what the underlying reasons are for his growing displays of dissatisfaction. You don't see value in doing the work to work together to steer the relationship back on track.
In short, your relationship is sinking and you both are done. That is something you agree on, based on your accounting of this relationship.

I relate

Sep 17, 2020 at 3:19pm

People like this are incredibly obnoxious. I’ve found that they also tend to be very critical and overbearing in other ways too. Maybe compensating for their own insecurities. Whatever it is though, it makes them very hard to be around.

27 5Rating: +22

@imminent

Sep 17, 2020 at 3:39pm

Not necessarily. Some people are just hyper- competitive like this. I know someone like this. They don't even realize how obnoxious they're being. I had to tell them straight and they make more effort now.

What @imminent said but loud

Sep 17, 2020 at 4:03pm

Ask yourself a few questions:
Was it always like this? Has he always been so critical of everything you’ve said? How long has it felt like you were walking on eggshells?

The issue is truly theirs. If you are in a loving relationship, calm and open conversation should be present.
If he really feels this way about everything you are saying, it is beyond time for you to leave. Why date someone just to be unhappy? The question goes on to ask why is HE so unhappy and taking it out on you, but then again, he didn’t write this post. You did.

While I can only assume the general populous is locked in the same tailspin of irritable behaviour and validates it as “stress” relating to work, money, covid etc, we should again point out: Your relationship and time spent with your partner should be sacred to some degree. Of course after a few years everything is hardly roses and sunshine, but WHY stay together just to not be alone?

Kudos to the numbskulls that thumbs down the first comment and of course this one. I’m sure you angrily drink a six pack everyday and mouth off to your partner more than enough to validate why you think we are wrong. But in the end, to quote the late Jim Lahey: If you live in the shit winds, boy
eventually you will get shit on.

hE's a....

Sep 17, 2020 at 4:32pm

GraMMar NaZi....why you still with him dude ?

16 6Rating: +10

I wish

Sep 17, 2020 at 6:14pm

this post didn't make me feel so sad. I feel so sorry that you love someone who does this so often. You don't deserve to be treated like that for the rest of your life.

30 6Rating: +24

Anonymous

Sep 17, 2020 at 6:35pm

Maybe he's feeling inadequate at work, and he's looking for a bump in his confidence? I've always found people will assume a role of position or power wherever they can get it if they don't have a great deal of self-awareness. Just a thought. You could ask? Couples are always rattling on about communication.

@What @

Sep 17, 2020 at 6:49pm

Thank you. Lots of downvotes for @imminent because they'd rather make excuses for bad behavior versus call out the reality. Glad not to be in their bitter shoes!

21 7Rating: +14

If he thinks he's so smart ask him this

Sep 17, 2020 at 11:58pm

What's the capital of Albania? Ha! Smart guy

11 4Rating: +7

@@imminent

Sep 18, 2020 at 7:19am

I agree, some people are just super competitive.

Another thing to consider is that if he's super enthusiastically pouncing every chance he gets to prove you wrong, maybe he's doing it because you do it and dont realize it, so he's trying to do it sarcastically and overly dramatically to to draw your attention to it.

I'm not trying to discredit anybody or blame the victim, I just dont like when everybody automatically sides with one person and doesn't consider all options.

Perhaps you two just need to talk a little more about these things instead weather it was 20014 or 2015 that you got him that shirt he never wears

3 9Rating: -6

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