Back Stabber

A friend of mine cheated on his gf. The only reason I know is because the girl he cheated with is my roommate and I saw him leaving in the morning after what sounded like certain noises. He didn’t see me and she was still sleeping when he left so she doesn’t know I know either. I don’t know his gf. I’ve only met her once and she was really nice. It is so tempting to ask my roommate about it but it’s none of my business. We all hang out sometimes so it’s going to feel really awkward for me. Not sure how to play this one because I’m also disappointed in my roommate because we both agreed we liked the gf.


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You should

Oct 16, 2020 at 11:21pm

tell his girlfriend. Try to run into her somewhere, so you don’t seem like you had a plan in place to blab. Just be like “oh, your boyfriend was at our place yesterday morning super early. I thought maybe he was dropping something off do you have any idea why?” If you’re all friends this should seem pretty innocent on the surface but it will probably pique her curiosity enough that she will figure it out.

what the hell

Oct 17, 2020 at 1:11am

if you are a respectable man, you would tell her. why in the hell would you keep this a secret from her.

As someone who's been cheated on

Oct 17, 2020 at 5:06am

I would want to know. Let the cheater and your roommate deal with the consequences of their choices.
If I were you, I would feel somewhat complicit in the deceit just by having to keep my mouth shut.

@what the hell

Oct 17, 2020 at 11:11am

First of all, I’m a woman. Second of all, I don’t know the gf and have no way of contacting her. As I said, I’ve met her once and he’s only invited his gf to our house that one time. We live in a house with a mixture of guys and gals and he’s friends with my roommates more than me. We hang out all together, not separately so there’s really no way I can confront either of them without making a scene.

Your roommate sucks

Oct 17, 2020 at 5:26pm

Sleeping with someone you know is in a relationship is not okay. It’s a betrayal and then there’s the STI risk. And doing that during a pandemic makes it much worse because there’s the COVID risk as well. If it were me, I’d confront your roommate about it. Hell, maybe she now has COVID and is spreading it in your household. It’s fucked up behaviour on so many levels.

Here's what you do

Oct 17, 2020 at 6:46pm

Invite the guy over for dinner with his gf and see what he says or what happens. Sometimes pretending ignorance can be the advantage. Do it in front of the roommate to check out the look on her/his face or the eye glances between the two of them. Prob end up with a lame excuse not to come over. Persue it with an invitation to maybe meet for coffee instead if he declines. Dinner or coffee with just the four of you - how very 'intimate'. ;-)

14 7Rating: +7

People do shady things

Oct 18, 2020 at 10:50pm

Shady, amoral, nasty things. Personally I wouldn't say anything to anyone but the roommate. Tell her you know and are uncomfortable and you would prefer to not have even peripheral involvement with this crap. No good comes of getting involved in other people's relationship bullshit, ever. The messenger always gets shot.

16 7Rating: +9

@ People do shady things

Oct 19, 2020 at 6:02am

Best advice on this thread.

10 7Rating: +3


Oct 27, 2020 at 7:37pm

I love that it’s your friend who is in the relationship and yet you say you’re disappointed with your roommate? This is deep subconscious sexism. Your friend is in the relationship- not your roommate. You can get into the ethics of both sides but in terms of the relationship that’s your friend you have to decide to talk about it with.

7 4Rating: +3

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