nurse problems

I'm a nurse at one of the big hospitals here and sometimes, I have really grim scenarios that shock me and I have no one to vent to. I live with several roommates and partner. One day I came home pretty distraught and started venting to my partner, who told me to quiet down cause I would upset the others (of course I didn't break any patient confidentiality, just described some things that happened). I stopped of course, but there was never any follow up by my partner. I get that I'm in a profession where I can't expect people to stomach some of the sad things that happen, and I don't want to pin my issue onto others. but if I'm going to sit and listen to my roommates' issues for hours on end (restaurant business, office drama, etc.) then why can't I vent to them? It just makes me feel like I have to keep all my issues in yet always offer an ear to others because "I'm a nurse and that's what nurses do"

19 Comments

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Actually...

Oct 31, 2020 at 1:25pm

... what nurses deal with is simply normal life. People are isolated from that. I have a friend who is an RN, I talk to her about whatever. People who can't stomach talk of death, abscesses, etc. are selfish, they live in a quiet little bubble of pseudoreality. Nurses are adults, you should live with other adults. Your partner also sounds immature. Normal adults can discuss everything.

LPN

Oct 31, 2020 at 2:39pm

What about venting to other nurses and your fellow health care workers, maybe during one of your coffee/meal breaks or grabbing a drink/having a toke after your shift? That's what the majority of other healthcare workers do on a regular basis. Why has this never occurred to you?

Your partner

Oct 31, 2020 at 3:05pm

Sounds like a soft PC *place expletive word here*.

This is largely a Vancouver PC polite soulless issue. They ban issues that are uncomfortable. My honest advice is to find better friends such as other nurses who understand or go somewhere less heartless PC than Vancouver

I'm sure....

Oct 31, 2020 at 3:10pm

free PTSD therapy is available from your union.

From a former medical field employee.

Oct 31, 2020 at 3:13pm

It is an industry that can consume you. Enough to the point that sheer will and internal belief in what you do is not enough to overcome it. It is symptoms of burn out. The only reason I respond, is to say vulnerability will be okay when the industry tires you out. It is natural even if heart breaking. socially distanced hugs.

Him Again

Oct 31, 2020 at 4:00pm

Talk to other nurses.

Just my 2 bits of advice

Oct 31, 2020 at 4:04pm

Perhaps you should become a labor nurse if you're finding it hard to stomach the trauma cases. I'm sure it can be just as rewarding if not more so. Also, maybe you should tell your partner to start acting like your partner instead of acting like everyone's father and to console you when you need consolation.

Your partner should listen up.

Oct 31, 2020 at 4:25pm

Because they're pushing you away from themselves and into the arms of someone who will listen to your every word. Maybe it's for the best.

27 7Rating: +20

Thank you for your service

Oct 31, 2020 at 4:53pm

& i hope you can find the balance between your obvious compassion with needful detachment

Vent away

Oct 31, 2020 at 5:43pm

If your partner can’t be there as a sounding board or venting outlet you need to tell them what you expect. Then if they won’t you know what to do. Nobody in your profession needs to feel shame or guilt about venting or expressing emotion to their loved ones at the end of a tough workday. Thank you for what you do everyday. Hang in there and hope you find someone who will listen.

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