I suggested abortion to a close friend and she went through with it. Even though she has a lovely family with children now, and even if my words weren't the ones which made her decide. I still feel responsible, and it has haunted me for decades.


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Don’t blame yourself

Nov 16, 2020 at 12:49pm

It was a cluster of cells, not a child. If she wasn’t prepared for that life then there’s no harm. Bringing a person into existence in an insecure scenario is unfair to the baby. You only helped a friend make a decision she would have come to on her own anyway. No need to feel bad about it. Abortion saves lives. There’s a reason abortion is a choice.

28 8Rating: +20


Nov 16, 2020 at 1:03pm

What other people decide to do is not your responsibility.
Unless you have a negative intent in the advice you gave, you have nothing to be haunted about. If however your intent was ill meaning, then a visit to a mental health professional is probably in order.

12 6Rating: +6


Nov 16, 2020 at 1:37pm

Abortions should be on top of the list and many should go through with it. Too many people in this world struggling and begging because they had a kid too early in their lives.


Nov 16, 2020 at 4:59pm

Your friend made a choice that was the right one for her to make at that time.

18 6Rating: +12


Nov 16, 2020 at 7:43pm

A cluster of cells, yes of course, but also a unique double helix of DNA. I would never say someone else should not have an abortion, and I agree it is the choice of the pregnant person, however my position is to advise the preservation of that unique double helix and what it can potentially develop into.

Many years ago, someone at my workplace was doing something inappropriate and against company policy that could be very damaging to the company. I reported it as was my duty in my position at the time and the employee was terminated. A couple of days later they committed suicide. It was so long ago, but I will go to my grave feeling responsible for their suicide. My advice, from personal experience, is to live with the guilt as best you can and accept that you cannot change the past.


Nov 17, 2020 at 2:09am

It was ultimately her decision to abort. Unless she is so unsure of herself that she needs others to make her decisions for her, in which case she's not ready to be a parent. Either way, you've nothing to reproach yourself with!

13 5Rating: +8

The old you

Nov 17, 2020 at 4:11am

I'm sure many of us would change the past if we can. Obviously your outlook on abortion has changed since you gave that advice. It's not the advice you would be willing to give now. You may not be able to feel good about who you were yesterday, but who you are today is all that really matters.

7 2Rating: +5

curious about the downvotings

Nov 17, 2020 at 1:58pm

What are you downvoting? Do you not think this is a genuine confession? Is there evidence of confession fraud, that she does not feel remorseful? Or do you dislike the topic? Abortion can be a pretty onerous, not to say tedious, discussion all right. Or do you just think that OP has a wrong opinion?

4 5Rating: -1

You’re only human..

Nov 17, 2020 at 7:54pm

To be conflicted about what is right or wrong is a human trait .. this is how we grow and improve society.

5 3Rating: +2

Is there perhaps

Nov 17, 2020 at 9:41pm

an abortion that you had which you're feeling bad about?

3 2Rating: +1

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