Flashback of the summer flings

Do they ever pop back in your mind all of a sudden? Dates, flings, even short relationshipa. I haven't thought of them for years, almost completely erased them in my mind. Then I would be washing the dishes and "BAM" a flashback. And it's always the ones that liked me more than I liked them. Where as the ones who broke my heart, well, I still think of him often for two years now. I would wonder/hope he still thinks about me, too. Then I realized "Oh... I must be like one of those flashbacks to him, someone he has forgotten about." It's something I could never talk out loud as it sounds so pathetic.

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Anonymous

Nov 25, 2020 at 10:39pm

I don't know. I get flashbacks from the one that broke my heart too, even if they are always on my mind. Particular moments suddenly reemerge from time to time.
Phrases, actions.
These thoughts hit with a lot of force and a massive range of emotions.
Anger, embarrassment, love, hopelessness, suicidal angst.
I doubt I'm ever "BAM" flashbacking in their head.
That's why it burns.
The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference...

17 9Rating: +8

Yes, me too

Nov 25, 2020 at 11:59pm

I think it happens to most people. Maybe your brain is trying to console you that, you might have been dumped this time, but in the past you had people who did care, so it can happen again. Either that or you're stuck in a loop whereby your norm is that you're the one who usually leaves, so you can't get your head around being left?

9 10Rating: -1

Anonymous

Nov 26, 2020 at 2:09am

F#cking is so awesome when you find the right person to hookup with. Total chemistry = F#ckfest.

11 7Rating: +4

I broke a heart

Nov 26, 2020 at 5:38pm

Still think of him. We were bad for each other in ways we never got to talk about and had real love for each other that could have easily overcame these. His fear was too strong and I made an ill fated push. Nobody won.
You're not pathetic. You're human.

12 9Rating: +3

Patrick powers

Nov 26, 2020 at 10:26pm

Don't worry I have same problem I have post on here I had a women from 30 years ago I still think of wondering if she ever thinks of me xo

13 8Rating: +5

OPP (other people's perspectives)

Nov 27, 2020 at 12:10am

No better than a guess.

Things I learned over the last few weeks:
My tenure at an employer from over a decade ago, was universally well-received. Even the vendors thought highly of my work.
A friend from college (decades ago) missed me horribly and has looked forward to speaking with me again for much of that time. He held up a classic of eastern philosophy that I lent him. It's the pillar of his life, the only book he's never marked up.
And he's a very well-connected, authoritative PhD professor these days...

Don't assume that you know what others think - and how they feel - about you. In many cases, you're likely way off.

12 8Rating: +4

I broke a heart.

Nov 27, 2020 at 8:29am

I'm still in love and still hoping one day you'll just appear like wonderful magic.

7 7Rating: 0

OP

Nov 28, 2020 at 2:46am

wow, thanks so much guys. I really appreciate all of you for sharing your experiences, and it's amazing to feel that I am not thr only one and also to see it from a different perspective.

@Yes, Me Too - your comment was so insightful, thank you. you did hit it on the nail too. I also heard that if you give your 100% then you leave nothing behind after a relationship, making it easy to move on. The ones I held back, or didn't appreciate at the moment, those ones linger on my mind with what ifs.

6 5Rating: +1

@I broke

Nov 28, 2020 at 5:26am

How would that person react when they see you after so much time without contact?
I've long fantasized about returning to find my missed connection and the range of what I dream of showing after such an absence is HUGE. Attempt to kiss them, act nonchalant, hide, jump in front of the nearest bus?

8 8Rating: 0

I broke a heart..

Nov 28, 2020 at 6:03pm

To break (or cast) the spell, you have to call.

6 6Rating: 0

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