I often have flashbacks to memories that are unhappy or uncomfortable. If not flashbacks, it’s like spacing out to another place or daydreaming. These moments come on really quickly, last a few seconds, and then I feel subdued after them for some time. Is this normal? I find they are worse after alcohol, so I think I will cut out drinking.


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Watch yourself

Nov 19, 2020 at 2:16am

Not a metaphor.
This coping mechanism is fairly recent but they've seen some good results. Imagine that you're a detached witness, observing the proceedings from off to the side. Watching your past self go through that experience in the situation.
The idea is to break the identification - "this happened" or "they did that" but without the "to me". Life as drive-by. Decreases the emotional loading.

Not drinking is a good idea.
Alcohol makes this (and really, any) coping mechanism much harder to use. Booze aggravates intentionality bias so everything is always about you. In objective(ish) reality, the opposite is true. Nothing ever really is about you (true for us all), except your notion of your own primacy in every setting. How human perception (very limited, highly concentrated sensory cluster) works, unfortunately.
If you wanted to find fault with "Intelligent Design", this would be a very serious one.

21 5Rating: +16

Idiot Joe

Nov 19, 2020 at 3:01am

Quitting drinking didn't stop me from thinking of unhappy moments. But it did help me feel less heightened anger/victimization etc in those moments, and realize my own culpability in these situations.

25 6Rating: +19


Nov 19, 2020 at 5:11am

... it is normal to have memories. As long as it doesn't cause you to forget you're driving and go over the edge of the Fraser Canyon, etc. it is fine.

Not exactly normal

Nov 19, 2020 at 7:40am

But not uncommon I understand. Be careful though - I had something like this which began with brief episodes but ended up with total collapse and hospitalization. They said they were dissociative seizures. May be worth speaking to your doctor.

13 6Rating: +7


Nov 19, 2020 at 10:47am

sucks the life out of living. It was not part of the Indigenous way before colonization. The Indigenous were not stupit. They knew what fermentation was, but they were conscious it was a negative thing.

14 9Rating: +5


Nov 19, 2020 at 10:58am

Cutting out alcohol is never a bad idea. Don't be afraid to get help with it. You'll thank yourself down the road, and grow to like yourself along the way.
As for the flashbacks, enjoy them while you can. It is not often we get to revisit our lives.

15 7Rating: +8


Nov 19, 2020 at 11:04am

It might be a symptom of ptsd or complex ptsd. Not all trauma is an event. Emotional and psychological abuse can cause what you are describing.
It could also be a physical symptom of something else. It would be good to check with your doctor and a therapist.

16 5Rating: +11


Nov 19, 2020 at 11:20am

Yes! these are normal and happen to many people who have been faced with difficult life situations. The daydreaming sounds like dissociation. I would google Hypo-Arousal and Hyper-Arousal. Also google " Grounding" exercises. To connect with your present moment through your BODY and its senses. I hope this is helpful.

14 8Rating: +6


Nov 19, 2020 at 11:58am

This happens to me a lot. It’s unnerving but at the same time it’s what helps me keep away from people I shouldn’t be anywhere near.

17 6Rating: +11

This is no coincidence

Nov 19, 2020 at 11:58am

These are flashbulb memories. Trauma counselling may help you heal. It changed my life!

19 6Rating: +13

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